A Certain Shade Of Blue

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

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For eighteen years, all Dan had known were two words.

Black and white.

His world was that and only that, black and white.

His parents had tried, tried to explain color, and how it looked but Dan couldn't imagine, wouldn't imagine it.

They had told him that he'd see the colors, the first time he spoke to his soulmate.

That then the colors would go again, when his soulmate died.

Dan had tried, talked to as many new people as he could, and was slowly giving up. Because all around him, others chattered animatedly in a world full of color, happy.

He had seen one just today.

The new kid at his school.

As soon as he walked in, and the teacher directed him to sit across from Dan, he started shyly talking to others around him.

Dan was doing his work, hunched over in the loud room, when suddenly everything went quiet.
He glanced up.

The new kid was staring at the girl sitting next to him, both their mouths open in shock, smiles tugging on their faces.

Dan had internally felt his heart sink a little lower, knowing someone else had found their soulmate while he might never, but he still smiled along with everyone else.

Through it all, he had Phil.
Someone to rant through Twitter DM's, message on SMS.
Someone that understood.
Because Phil was twenty two, and he was having no better luck than Dan in finding his soulmate.

When Dan walked into an empty house that evening, he couldn't help but cry.
He wanted to love someone, wanted someone to love him.
He felt alone, so, so alone.

His laptop pinged.

AmazingPhil: hey!:)

Dan wiped a tear from the corner of his eye.

danisnotonfire: hey

AmazingPhil: what are you doing lol?

danisnotonfire: not much

AmazingPhil: ? you sound a bit down

danisnotonfire: im fine, just the inner turmoil of not having found my soulmate

AmazingPhil: are you okay? i understand how you feel.

danisnotonfire: i dunno

AmazingPhil: my skype is amazingphil if you want to chat

danisnotonfire: calling

Dan's fingers nervously tapped his leg as he waited for Phil to pick up.

He did, and as the camera came into focus, Dan was taken aback by his beauty. He was mesmerized my the ebony hair and light grey eyes. 

"Hi!" Phil said.

Then he gasped.


Dan looked at him though the screen.

"What's happened- oh my god."

Tears came to his eyes as color crashed down on him.

Phil was crying too.

"Dan, it's you."

Dan smiled through his tears.

"And it's you. You have beautiful eyes." he whispered.

And they were beautiful, a startling pale blue that no camera could do justice.


It was agony, waiting the two weeks. Dan thought he was going to go insane.

The only thing that kept him out of the mental asylum was Skype.

He had probably broken the website, being on it for eight hours a day.

Good mornings were actually good now that Dan had someone to spend his life with.

And his parents were happy, so happy. They'd arranged the train ride as soon as Dan had told them, happy tears in his eyes.

Everyone around him noticed the change too.
The way his eyes actually lit up when he laughed, the way he smiled at his phone when he thought nobody was looking, the way he seemed to radiate happiness.

Dan thought that he was the happiest he could ever be.

He was wrong.

Two weeks later, when he crashed into Phil's warm embrace, half crying, half laughing-

That was the happiest he'd ever been.

A year later, as he sat with his head leaning on Phil's shoulder, comfortable in his warmth and love-

That was the happiest he'd ever been.

Twelve years later, they'd moved into a house together-

That was the happiest he'd ever been.

Every day was spent full of cereal, laughter, and affection.

Every night was filled with kisses, warm blankets, and love.

Dan thought nothing could ever change that.

He thought Phil would be on his mind, forever and always.

That he'd never lose him.

As he walked home from the bus station, his heart stopped.

Something was wrong.

Then he realised.

The world had gone back to black and white.

There was another color, too, but Dan was too panicked to see it.

He raced up the stairs, ten minutes later, frantic for his soulmate, frantic for his Phil.

The house had been ransacked.

It was still.


As he saw Phil's unmoving body, blood blossoming over his chest, he knew there was no point in trying, that Phil had gone.

Because the world was black and white once more.

But this time, he could see a certain shade of blue too.

The blue was his hope, and he clung to it, as his world came crashing down on him.

He crumpled to the ground, next to Phil, sobbing.

He was alone again.

Submitted: November 10, 2017

© Copyright 2022 shreya joshi. All rights reserved.

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