I'm Pavin

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Pavin is just another Indian college student who is forced to study the subject he dislikes the most. This short story is basically about how adventurous a good-for-nothing Indian student would be. Read it and enjoy.

Submitted: January 10, 2012

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Submitted: January 10, 2012





My name is Pavin Kaadithyan (meaning: the bearer of beauty). One of my friends used to make fun of me saying that it is the weirdest name one could ever have and unfortunately I cannot disagree with him this time like I always do. To be honest it really worried me a lot in the beginning but not anymore. And by the way my friend’s name is Domoco. I’m a Tamil and I’m proud to be a Tamil (the second part was inevitable as we Tamils are supposed to say that which else it would make us traitors by default). I’m from Coimbatore, the best place in the whole of Tamil Nadu to which every one of my friends disagrees (the best place part). They say that a person is considered dumb, even if he utters the name Coimbatore and nothing can stop them from saying such things, not even my numerous requests as well as threats. But right now I’m in Chennai- the “safest city in India” (According to ‘The Hindu’ there was a public riot last Tuesday which was followed by three brutal murders. I think Chennai got its reputation considering the worse situations prevailing in all other cities in India) studying in IIT-Madras, one of the most prestigious institutions in the country (the other institutions being the six other IIT’s) and the reason for me calling IITs the most prestigious institutions is because I’m supposed to.

If you ask any parent in India where they want their children to study, without wasting any moment they’ll say IIT. But the student’s version of IIT completely differs from that of the parents, IITians themselves call IIT as Institute of Infinite torture. But all this bullshit applies only to those maggus (Insti word for people who study, study, study while watching porn) or the “engineering students”. But fortunately I’m in the HSS (Humanities and Social sciences) department and I’m calling this fortunate not because of the fact that it is the only course in the whole of India where students are jobless but because it is the one and only department in whole of the college to have female students in a large proportion. However, that part is still of no use for me because I’m from Coimbatore. Students from every other department in the college hate us for the same reason: HSS has more girls than boys. But none of us gives a damn, after all in a place like IIT who cares for what boys think. Apart from girls, the other things which interest an IITian are late night parties. My classmates and I gather to drink tea and eat samosa in the midnight, because that’s how cool we MA students are!

For my first semester my only objective was to get a girlfriend, but whenever I approached a girl and said “Hi, I’m Pavin, from Coimbatore”, she would start shouting “SECURITY”.  After reading this one may come to the conclusion that I’m the only loser in a class of Shakespeares and Platos. I accept this fact like a real man. Having said that, one may like to know how a day of my college life would be. And I’m not going to disappoint you. So here we go………….. (Please excuse me if you think I’ve exaggerated somewhere)

Today I got up around 7.40 for my class at 8.00 and this made me very happy because I woke up early after a very long time, the last time I woke up early was on the first day of my college. Having spent almost a year here, if there is something that I have learnt not to do, then it is not to wake up early because it simply distinguishes you from the other student landing you in a group of students called stud-max( Insti word for people who are punctual and good at what they are doing). This was the last thing I wanted to happen( everyone hates stud-max). After brushing my teeth and accidentally taking a bath-a true IITian never bathes in the morning-I left for the cycle-stand only to see that my cycle’s tire was punctured. I didn’t worry about it and instead for some reason I was strangely happy. I reassured myself that “at least I didn’t lose my cycle like my friend Vamsi (another loser) who lost his cycle yesterday”. As usual I skipped my breakfast (If there is something which is common among all IITians then it is the breakfast, we all hate breakfast) and reached my class at 7.57.

I entered the class hoping that no one would be there, but I found Sahil (Stud-max) sitting in the farthest corner and doing something with his laptop, probably studying for tomorrow’s exam. And by the way the end-semester exams start tomorrow. Last week in the institution, when a survey was taken on the major head-aches the students face in their college life, the end-semester exams came first followed by the mess-food and the professors. Except for the studious guys no one likes exams. Around 8.05 most of the students came and it was a bit surprising for me to see most of the students turning up for the last day before the exams. Normally every HS student tries to imitate the Engg. guys by planning to do group-studying before the day of the exams.

During group-study sessions people would start studying around 6.00 in the evening then go on till 6.00 in the morning performing a night-out in other words. But nobody reveals what they do in these 12 hours. But since I took a vow not to hide anything, I’m going to tell what we do. We start our group-studying session by planning on what to do, and once we’ve fixed the targets we take a vow that we will at any cost achieve it. This entire process of planning on what to do will take an hour. So by 7.00 we start our session and at around 7.30 one of the guys would say that he is feeling hungry to which all of us would agree and decide to go to the mess to have dinner which again takes another hour. Once finished we come back to our room where the same guy who first called out for dinner will again propose for a movie before going back to study as a movie in the middle of a study session can be very refreshing. We all say in unison “why not?” Then we watch a movie till 12 or 1 depending upon the duration of the movie. Once the movie gets over the same guy who proposed for the movie would say “Come on guys, we’re gonna study till 6.00 so we better sleep a little” and this time again we all say in unison “why not?” The best part of all of these happenings is we never regret our doings. Having said that I will come back to where I left.

Our philosophy prof was bit late. I could tell from his face that he is not in a great mood today but nevertheless he is still a cool prof as he never cares about attendance or what people do in the class while he teaches (In IIT anyone who is not worried about attendance is considered to be God!!). He started teaching us the last topic of the semester- Hegelian Principles-for about 50 minutes. It was quite obvious that none of us understood anything and none of us could help it including the professor. I sometimes wonder whether he himself understood it or not, but however that never mattered to us. For us the definition of a professor is someone who talks in other people's sleep. The next period was a free period. Now that’s the best thing about HSS department. We have so much of free time that sometimes even we get bored. After the last period I made up my mind on what to do for the rest of the day. Accordingly I study 5-7 hours for my philosophy exam which is to be held the next day. After I finished studying I could watch a movie as a reward and then go to sleep. All IITians plan well, but when it comes to the execution of that plan we suck. That’s the reason why we take a vow not to break the promise before every promise.

Reaching my room at around 2, I thought of giving a go at my plan, but I didn’t know where to start and more importantly what to start with. And that’s when I realized I didn’t know what exam is going to be held tomorrow! I had a confusion whether it was going to be philosophy or Ethics, (now that’s a big problem or I would say a disadvantage with the HSS department. All courses teach the same thing-in Ethics we read what Kant did and in Philosophy we read why he did that). After a couple of phone calls I confirmed that the exam was on German! That was the last thing I really, really wanted to happen because I suck at German and moreover my German professor hates me. But alas! Nothing is going to stop the exam from happening. Sensing no use in cribbing about it, I felt the need to act fast. I went straight to Sahil’s room (the class topper, I always wanted to know what that guy eats) who is again doing something with his laptop (he is a mysterious guy, he never reveals what he does with his laptop, probably studying?!). I asked him to teach me something in German so that I can at least pass. Being a good guy he readily accepted and we started at around 3 and by 6 I gained some confidence that I can pass.  

I then went back to my room and looked for something to eat( IITians are always hungry) but found nothing as usual even though I always knew that I won’t have any food in my room.I still search being a confident young boy. So I go to Vamsi’s room. Now some background about this guy. He is basically a gluttonous loser who spends most of his time eating, eating and eating, he is probably the only guy in the entire college who would never miss his breakfast, lunch, dinner and most of the times even his supper! I got some biscuits. I love biscuits when I get it free of cost, after all I’m a typical Indian. After 8 I went to bed keeping an alarm for 7.15 in the morning, so that I won’t be late for the exam.

I got up at 7.55, my alarm failed me for the 100th time. I had no time to waste. So I rushed to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, put on my clothes and left the room along with my lucky pad. While crossing the cycle stand I got the shock of my life. I couldn’t see my cycle. Damn!! Someone must have stolen it. But now is not exactly the time to worry about it because it’s already 5 past 8.00 and I have to run to my department where the exam would be going on. Checking out the girls as I go, I at last reached the exam hall.

While running to the hall I could see another guy running along with me. It was Vamsi, it was so funny watching him run (fun becomes funnier when it happens amidst chaos). At last I reached the exam hall. I was late by 15 minutes (the best and the only good thing about IIT exams are the timings, even if the student reaches the exam hall late, the profs won’t mind, the record for coming late was set by a B/Tech guy who came late to the class by an hour but surprisingly was the first to finish the exam). With a benevolent frown, the invigilator handed me the question paper along with the booklet in which I was supposed to write the answers. Before looking at the question paper, I prayed for some 5 minutes (God plays an important role in our college life only twice, first when we propose a girl and second when we face our exam).

Looking into my paper I thought to myself, today must be a day of shockers, first my cycle and now this question paper. I couldn’t understand a bloody thing in it, almost 80% of the questions were asked from the part which I didn’t learn. The more I looked into the paper the more worried I became. I was looking for some miracle to happen; I wanted an earthquake or a disaster of some kind to save me from this exam. But miracles don’t happen. From Socrates to Pamela Anderson, lots of random thoughts passed my mind. I considered myself the ‘wisest man’ (Socrates’ famous theory on wisdom: A man who accepts that he knows nothing is the wisest of all). As I was simply sitting playing with my pen, something like a miracle did happen.

The invigilator made Sahil who was sitting in his usual farthest corner to sit before me. I don’t have the slightest idea why she did that. I was overjoyed by this incident. Sahil while sitting asked me how the paper was and I lied to him saying “It’s great”. You may really wonder why I lied to him, but my theory behind that lie is ingenious. Normally a studious guy never allows anyone to copy from him. When they suspect that the person who sitting next is trying to copy from him, they would certainly go to any extent to prevent him from copying, even if he is his best friend (girl friends are exceptions). So now I can to copy some answers from him without his knowledge. By the time he realized that I was copying from him, I was sure I would get 50% marks and that was more than enough for me.

By 11.45 I handed the answer sheet to the invigilator. I came out of the exam hall only to see people doing the post-exam discussion. I also joined them and I was very happy that most of the guys didn’t do the exam well. I then went with my friends to the mess where we planned to have a group-study session for the upcoming Philosophy exam.  Later, I returned to my room and had a deep sleep with the hope of getting up around 6 in the evening to participate in the group-study session.

© Copyright 2019 Siddharthan JJ. All rights reserved.

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