life growing up without my mom

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: December 27, 2017

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Submitted: December 27, 2017

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Hey my name is Sierra and I’m 16 years of age. I have a feeling that I've fallen again in a big opening that I can’t get out of. I said I was fine however I figure I wasn't right. I’m not completely sure where I lost myself but maybe it’s because it was all those hours I spent having scenes or sudden mental pictures of my childhood life. Do you know that feeling where your laying in bed at night staring at the ceiling asking yourself a million of questions then sit there and fight against yourself weather or not you want to know the answer. Well that’s because growing up my life  has quite recently been destroyed all around with discouragement and unlimited thoughts wishing I didn't need to carry on with this sort of life and watched my parents drink away their pain a little at a time everyday and them get into an arguments which wound up into a murder of my father. After what happened that was the big conflict to both sides of the family hating on my mom for what she did even after she did her time in jail. As I think back to my childhood I can recall memories of being with my father and all I can say is that it was a great time while it lasted. Anyways when I was younger I remember being homeless and walking endlessly all day and night to find a place to rest or eat. I even had to run away with my grandma to a random house and hide there for a while from my mom since she was using at that time. The last time I remember being with my mom when I was younger is when I was sleeping in back of a pickup on garage bags full of stuff then as as I woke up I remember the police pulled over the car and arrested my mom then she said I have kids in back off the car and that’s when the police took us and that how I was put into child care. Being in child care didn’t make life easier for me after all what I’ve been through. To live without a mother is an idea I can't stand any longer since you've missed such a great amount from our lives from drugs and alcohol. You let us down so many times and yet I tell myself that one day you’ll come back to us back onto your feet and sober but as much as I hope and dream it will be while before you come back into our lives to be the mom your suppose to be for your children. Have you ever thought even a second on what your doing to us? No matter how much we begged you too listen to us to stop your addiction you would just ignore us completely until it came down when you got arrested is to go back to prison or go to treatment and straighten yourself out. I’m glad you went to treatment for two months but now that your out your still gone doing whatever you want and it wouldn’t be a surprise if you relapsed again. Your the one who ripped our family apart but yet I promised myself to never become like you. All that matter is I got to where I am today and you should be proud because I’m still standing strong and going on the right path with my siblings.  I just wanted to let you know I forgive you and Im hoping everything will be ordinary again one day with smiles and get the nearby bonds like different families encounter regularly and to encounter the genuine love inside every one of us since that is the thing that truly is absent in our family. Praying you’ll return home someday to us since  we would prefer not to carry on with this sort of life any longer then we have to Mom.


© Copyright 2020 Sierra Oseguera. All rights reserved.

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