The Day You Came

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

I'm 13 years old so the poem may be inadvanced. Please picture yourself as a lonely person being played with and disrespected. Thank god I'm not like that, but have this image to understand this better.

The day you came and sat next to me

I sensed the kindness and beauty in thee

Oh, she is the one that i wished her to be

All the time with me, through out eternity

The day you came and gave me a drink,

My heart was never happier and had to sink

In the love you gave me, you gave a wink

And my eyes got teary and had to blink.

Beacause that day you gave me pride and joy

And love and kindness and sweetness, oh boy

I thanked god she wasn't a decoy

For an embarrassment, I wasn't the toy

That has been played with all along

Where everyone and everything thought I should belong

But now you gave me courage, now I am strong

And I aimed to push everyproblem for long.

The day you came and sat next to me

I sensed the kindness and beauty in thee.

Oh, she is the one that I wished her to be

All the time with me through oout eternity.


Submitted: June 09, 2011

© Copyright 2022 siirdarkmaz. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Darkie

Sad but very nice and meaningfull poem ^_^

Fri, June 10th, 2011 1:19pm

Author
Reply

thnx :D

Fri, June 17th, 2011 2:25pm

siirdarkmaz

thnx darkie.

Fri, June 10th, 2011 2:04pm

katiezombie

I really like this

Tue, July 12th, 2011 10:40am

Author
Reply

thnx

Tue, July 12th, 2011 3:51am

Bernice DeLucchi

I enjoyed your poem and for a 13 year old I think you are a deep person with a lot of passion. There is a lot of heart-felt emotion to your poem.

Wed, July 13th, 2011 10:11am

Author
Reply

thnx :D its not true btw i wasn't writing with passion i was just bored and wrote it. kinda awkward

Wed, July 13th, 2011 4:06am

viktory

Excellent writing!

Thu, July 14th, 2011 7:46am

Author
Reply

thnx :D

Thu, July 14th, 2011 1:30am

Frank Ramtahal

Great work, good rhyming and good flow of ideas. Perhaps you could format your poems in single line spacing with double line space between stanzas. The font colour could be changed. I like it.

Thu, July 14th, 2011 11:32am

Author
Reply

thnx for the tip.

Thu, July 14th, 2011 4:33am

iLOVEyu424

I was blown away by this. Amazing work, it's very well written. I loved it! Keep up the great work! :)

Thu, July 14th, 2011 6:32pm

Author
Reply

thnx a mil. :D

Thu, July 14th, 2011 12:59pm

Tabithaangel97

Beautiful.

Fri, July 15th, 2011 5:37pm

Author
Reply

thnx :D

Sat, July 16th, 2011 5:46am

Aatifah

I LOVE it :)

Fri, July 15th, 2011 7:17pm

Author
Reply

thnx :D

Sat, July 16th, 2011 5:40am

JiDonnelly

very powerful beautiful poem
such lovely wording
i will be having a look at others for sure(:


-JiDonnelly'

Sun, July 17th, 2011 12:54am

Author
Reply

thnx :D. awaiting ur comments

Sun, July 17th, 2011 2:35am

Davinder Ranu

Beautiful poem and what drink did she give u? A love drink?:)

Tue, July 19th, 2011 4:55pm

Author
Reply

sort of. hahaha :D thnx

Wed, July 20th, 2011 1:56am

arun

Nothing to say! Because it's already great... Thanks for sharing this to us.

Thu, July 21st, 2011 8:20pm

Author
Reply

no! dont thank me, thank YOU for reading it :D thnx soo much

Thu, July 21st, 2011 1:37pm

dreamer01

awesome keep it up.....boy?

Thu, July 21st, 2011 8:52pm

Author
Reply

yup. i'm a guy and thnx :D

Thu, July 21st, 2011 2:39pm

Sapphire Ravenmoon

Wow, for a 13 yr old this is amazing, i wasn't kidding when i said you have an amazing talent with poetry xD

Thu, July 21st, 2011 9:42pm

Author
Reply

thnx a mil :D :D

Thu, July 21st, 2011 2:47pm

Manda Pinto

Amazing. Again. Dear gosh. JEALOUS. SO DANG JEALOUS. :P
Buuut... Wow I don't know what to say, so I'm going to press the lovely blue like button and try another (most likely another AWESOME) poem :)

Thu, July 21st, 2011 10:48pm

Author
Reply

hahaha thank you soo soo soo much. :D :D :D

Fri, July 22nd, 2011 2:18am

aria aiedail

Awh, its so sweet. I wish i could have someone think of me that way! *sigh* until that day I think i'll peruse some of your other poems.

Fri, July 22nd, 2011 9:15pm

Author
Reply

thnx. i'm sure there's someone for you, like there's someone for me (i hope). thnx again

Sat, July 23rd, 2011 2:14am

Khano

Oh wow oh wow! How romantic! Haha... which lucky girl have you composed this for? ;P
You fused Shakespearean language! For a 13 year old, I take my hat off to you.
And I like the "through oout eternity" is it meant to have a double "o"...it's a unique touch though, so don't correct that one.

Sat, July 23rd, 2011 9:29am

Author
Reply

no it's not meant to have double "o". thank you soo much for the feedback and your wonderful comment. i appreciate that. thnx again

Sat, July 23rd, 2011 2:38am

Corr Zauber

Nice rhyme scheme, it kept the flow going with emotion :)

Tue, July 26th, 2011 1:41pm

Author
Reply

thnx corr :D

Wed, July 27th, 2011 2:45am

glitter snow426

very sweet, warm and so sincere!! GREAT WORK, SIMPLY ADORABLE!!

Wed, July 27th, 2011 2:41pm

Author
Reply

thnx :D

Wed, July 27th, 2011 8:49am

xxGabriellexx

That was quiet interesting. I must admit better then I expected!

I'm only 14 so I know what it's like to be young but really wanting to get to know literature and story writing :) all the best in the future :)

Wed, July 27th, 2011 3:11pm

Author
Reply

thank you soo much :D

Wed, July 27th, 2011 8:47am

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