A Ghost All Alone

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
When I wrote this I felt very alone and in a very dark place: I felt there was no-one to turn to or get help from. I felt as though it didn't matter how much I tried I was invisible

Submitted: January 25, 2010

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Submitted: January 25, 2010

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With a parasitic nature, seclusion pervades my brain,
Scared of persecution, silenced without some gain.
A wall flower in the distance, a ghost within the crowd,
Avoidance and separation, contact not allowed.

Alienating myself, not letting others come near,
my failure in my world, solemn thoughts appear.
Feeling insignificant, a prisoner of solitude,
watching from a distance, the walls in place occlude.

I am like a deserted island, desolate and bare,
Emptiness....ghostlike, feeling I’m not there.
My heart and soul feel blocked, amity unknown,
my heart bleeds with pain and sorrow on my own.

I curse the cogitated thoughts, the ones that clog my brain,
Often sensing sadness, not wanting to feel again.
The negativity of my mind isolating me further away,
leaving only a wisp of memory, when no longer here today.

Confused where I went wrong, to this very day,
hope becoming lost as time dwindles away.
My heart has many treasures wanting to share to all,
but instead is kept within, silenced behind the doors.

Grief never leaves your thoughts causing tears to flow,
With sadness and constant sorrow, I want to be left alone.
Defeat is now winning, no longer wanting to fight,
when I’m gone from here, no memories in sight.

My heart and soul feel hollow, aching at its most,
no-one detects the signs, but how can they as a ghost?
I want to leave my sadness when I leave this world,
To live in peace and harmony, totally unfurled.

As I walk the roads alone, to uncover the right crossway,
I’m drowning in the sea of solitude with few to save my way.
Feeling totally hopeless and negative every day,
I’m angry at my inability to change my desperate ways.

Imprisoned in my thoughts, feeling endless in its ways,
My smile hides it all, and I act as if all is ok.
An illusion of total happiness, but really on my own,
Like a invisible ghost...I wander life alone.

©10/5/09

 


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