Missed Over Time

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
My father left at the age of 5 and never saw him again other than at the funeral of his parents. I have limited or effectively no memories of him and do not understand how any parent can leave and never see their child again. He really is a fantasy fiure, an illusion that I have created all my life.

Submitted: January 26, 2010

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Submitted: January 26, 2010

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One day in my dreams, I know that you were there,
loving us so much, knowing that you cared,
I remember that one day a present you gave me,
a tape of “Bay City Rollers”, a favourite for me.

We played on the beach, and the sandcastle grew,
the last memory of my childhood with you.
This was the final time, no longer seen from then,
 why did you leave, never to be seen again?

A family not of love, a life full of dismay,
you’ve missed out who I am and done till today.
I don’t understand why you didn’t want me at your side,
you never had interest in my important things in life.

You don’t know my partner, I know you would love too,
didn’t attend my wedding, just wanted you to take a pew
You knew what I did, but never came to see,
what did I do so wrong forever for you to leave.

I was your child, your baby you cared for,
how can you forget and just leave me without a word.
To see you again at the funeral of my Nan,
you briefly gave a hug and off you went again.

You promised me this day you would keep in touch,
not a single word, but I knew I was not worth much.
Not a word was uttered until the day Pa died,
I now feel this was it, the finale of our ties.

You had your chance to know me but that was not to be,
how could wipe me and just go and leave.
You missed your grandchildren as they were being born,
you will never know how much the pain I wore.

You coldly sent a letter as part of Pa’s will,
signed from “your father” but no heart was in it still.
I hoped we might gel and get to know each other,
you made your mind up to wipe me thereafter.

I have been so angry throughout my lifetime,
I feel as though you left as it was a fault of mine.
Maybe if I wasn’t born you may have coped the family climb,
now I feel so sorry for what you’ve missed in time.

“Dedicated to my father who one day I might meet again”

13/10/09


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