My Conundrum

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
My father left at the age of 5 and never saw him again other than at the funeral of his parents. I have limited or effectively no memories of him and do not understand how any parent can leave and never see their child again. He really is a fantasy fiure, an illusion that I have created all my life. Do I want to meet him again???

Submitted: January 26, 2010

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Submitted: January 26, 2010

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The inner confusion within my brain,
continuous perplexity, overload
and strain.
I lost my path when you went away,
many contradictions questioning inside.

Uncertainty...my heart deep within,
unknown identity, suppression of things.
No sense to why you let me go.
so often I mourn, do I want to know?

All my life you’ve made me pay,
I feel as though I’ve now lost my way.
My life a puzzle, many pieces mislaid.
Why did you leave me so afraid?

I’ll never know if it’s the devil you’re like,
as my heart feels pierced with an uncaring strike.,
Confusion asunder the emotion I live,
My mind so blank it permits to forgive.

My heart was a tree with a single leaf,
hope was waiting but instead came grief.
The blazing emotion of weakness and fear,
the light now gone, it’s now disappeared

I feel I should loathe your very soul,
But instead my heart loves you so.
I don’t know why I ponder this way,
while your life drifts further away.

© 23/12/09


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