Time to walk away

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
I spent 12 months with a therapist who decided to retire. I was devastated when I had to finish up as I had spoken my heart to this person and she was the only person in the world who knew of what I had told her. I felt very alone and left back by myself to defend mysef in the big wide world when I would have rathered hidden away in some deep dark corner

Submitted: January 25, 2010

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Submitted: January 25, 2010

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I’m now walking away, after the time I went through,
I couldn’t trust others, but I trusted in you.
My heart feels so broken and sobbing with tears,
standing in silence in isolation and fear.

I now feel alone, crying quietly at dark,
afraid and confused....now torn apart.
The pain is quickly growing as the final day looms,
to no longer see you, scared of the future, one without bloom.

I hate the idea that I have to end it with you,
emotionless, emptiness, my soul now lonely and blue.
I no longer feel I have a safe place to go,
to share my feelings that you now clearly know.

My memories feel drowned and hope without glow,
all the words that were said, and to now let you go.
The feeling of the darkness I am now going through,
knowing I can no longer rely on anything from you.

I don't know who to confide in, too fearful to try,
I attempt to hold in my tears but I silently cry.
I know there are people to pass on the history of me,
but do not dare seek others, to help me feel free.

You hated the punishment of our silent sessions,
but I heard every word that you patiently mentioned.
Even though I struggled articulating about me,
to enable to write to you, opened the door with a key.

You were my way out, a place without pain
A person to confide in, but what did I gain?
My faith and my feelings have now gone astray,
I feel so lost to finish, and just walk away.

Now like a flood, I can’t stop the tears,
knowing when we spoke, you knew my intimate fears.
you have cared, and attempted to mend,
with sadness and pain, I know it’s now come to an end.

Leaving you is not easy.... please try and see,
but I no longer expect you to further help me.
except to let go of you, and move on with my climb,
frightens me more than any fragment of my “nutty” mind.

©7/12/08


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