Columbus Warp: Party In A Bankless Society

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Sarah Marshal and her boyfriend, Steven McFerris, go nightclubbing with Debra O'Brian, Prime Minister Malcom Turnbull and his wife, Lucy, in a parallel earth where banks, insurance companies and
other financial institutions haven't been invented. They talk about what it is like living without banks. Join them as they party in a bankless society!

Submitted: December 08, 2017

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Submitted: December 08, 2017



  My girlfriend and I sat watching the movie Daddy's Home 2 at Kirribilli House in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, Parallel Earth Bankless Society. Her name was Sarah Marshall. She was a paranormal investigator working for Paracrisis. I was her assistant. Me and Sarah had been hired to cover Fred Watson as he was in Greenlane Hospital in the Ambfree Universe due to a crash. So, here we are watching the movie with our host, Debra O'Brian of Columbus Warp, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull of Australia and his wife, Lucy. 

I must admit … Malcolm Turnbull had quite a flash place here. Both he and Lucy were in their sixties. Debra was short with brown curly hair and glasses. Sarah had red wavy hair. I had a crush on Sarah ever since I saw her in the newspaper years ago. 

We all laughed at the shenanigans that happened in the movie. There was this bit where Colin Farrel was sweeping the path with a snow sweeper and he had an argument with his wife when he let go. He said something that offended her, like that his friendship with Ryan Gosling was more important than their marriage. Next thing we laughed as the snow sweeper gobbled up all the Christmas lights on the front lawn and roof of the house.  

"Oh, my," said Lucy "I knew that was going to happen. Colin Farrel is so funny". 

The next thing that happened is the snow sweeper landed on Ryan Gosling's ute and damaged it. Then the snowman landed on Colin Farrel and knocked him to the ground. That was so hilarious. 

"They get into so much trouble" said Sarah. I had my arm around Sarah's waist. 

"We better get ready to go out," said Lucy "Maybe spend the night on the town. What say you, dear?' 

"Sounds like a great idea," said Malcolm "Everybody keen". 

We all nodded. Sarah and I got up, grabbed our towels, soaps and shampoo and went over to the bathroom. Sarah put out her hand to test if the water was hot enough. As soon as Sarah said "It's warm" we both stepped into the shower. We washed all over our bodies and washed our hair. Sarah put her arm around my shoulders and I placed my arms around her waist. We kissed for a few moments. I could feel her tongue in my mouth. Then I heard a knock on the door. 

"Are you going to be longer?" Asked Lucy "We have to go out. That's what you came here for". 

Sarah turned to the door and said "Sorry". 

Once we got out of the shower, we dried ourselves off, wrapped our towels around us and went back to the guest room. Sarah shut the door behind us. We got changed into our best clothes. Sarah put on her indigo dress while I got changed into my jeans, bright blue and red checkered long-sleeved shirt and black leather shoes. Sarah stepped into her matching high heels. 

"Let's go" said Sarah. 

We stepped out of the room and ran down the stairs to the living room where Debra, Malcom and Lucy were waiting for us. Malcom turned to us and said "There's the young couple. Ready to go out?" 

"Yes. We're thrilled" said Sarah grinning. 

"Excited" I said. 

Malcom turned to Lucy and said "Honey, go and get the money out of the safe, would you?" 

"OK, sweetie" replied Lucy as she walked over to the safe that sat on the bench next to the kitchen table. 

Lucy turned the combination knob until she cracked the combination. In this parallel universe banks had never been invented. None of the cultures had ever thought off creating a bank or any other financial institution to store money. So, in this particular universe people stored their money at home in a safe, in the cupboard, draws, desk or even in a box. Companies and corporations stored their money on their property. 

Once Lucy cracked the safe, she threw wads of money to Debra, Sarah and Malcolm who all caught their money in their hands. 

"That money should last us tonight," said Malcom "it's a lot of money though. I thought we'd go to Dominoes next to Lang Park. In central Sydney. How does that sound?" 

"Sounds fantastic" said Sarah. We nodded and smiled. 

"Come on then. The taxi van is waiting for us". 

We stepped out of the house. Malcom locked the door behind us and we all climbed aboard the taxi. Malcom leaned forward and said "take us to Lang Park". 

"OK," replied the taxi driver. 

We pulled out of the driveway and turned left into Kirribilli Avenue, right onto Broughton Street, went through the roundabout and took the ramp onto Sydney Harbour Bridge. It was some massive feet of engineering, the iron towers above us. I asked "Malcom, may I ask you a question?" 

"Go ahead, Steve. You may" replied Malcom. 

"When they built the bridge, how did they manage to transport all the money to the suppliers?" 

"That's a good question? What they did was transport all that money in a truck and take it to the steelworks. Then they supplied the materials to build the bridge. Once all the money was paid upfront, they produced the steel to build the bridge. That's how most companies work". 

"Strange. Same thing happens in our universe". 

We took the off ramp into the city centre. The taxi van took us down York Street and made a sharp left onto Yang Street. The taxi driver dropped us off at Lang Park opposite dominoes. Once the taxi van left, we crossed the road towards dominoes. 

We entered Dominoes and walked right up to the counter. Malcom said "Can we have the menu please?" 

The counter assistant passed us the menu and we looked it over. There was a great selection of pizzas. The same kind that we have back in our universe. Once we decided what pizzas we wanted Malcom said "Umm we'd like to have the Hawaiian pizza, the spicy chicken pizza, garlic and prawns' pizza, the apricot chicken pizza and meat lovers' thanks". 

The counter assistant pressed the buttons on the touch screen computer and said "That would be ninety-five dollars and sixty cents, Mr. Prime Minister". The assistant smiled at us. 

Malcom offered to pay for us himself. Since banks had never been invented in this universe, they had no eftpos machines, no ATMs. Since there would be no point having eftpos if all money came in cash and there were no accounts. 

"It will take about fifteen minutes, Mr. Prime Minister" said the cashier. 

We waited for the pizzas to be prepared. While we waited Malcom talked about how, when he first married Lucy, his parents gave him the money to buy a house. "I gave a suitcase full of 340 thousand dollars to the real estate agent. She was so thrilled with us. I signed the contract and the house was ours". 

Once the cashier called us to grab the pizzas, we got the pizzas from the counter and crossed the road towards Lang Park where we ate them on the grass. It was such a lovely evening. The leaves rustling in the gentle breeze. 

"Don't you love pizza?" Said Sarah "Tastes so nice". She bit into the apricot chicken pizza. 

The garlic prawn pizza was strong and tasty. It was such a nice dinner. Lucy said "Yes. This pizza is gorgeous". She chewed on the meat lover's pizza. "Don't you have dominoes in your universe, Sarah?" 

"In fact, we do". 

"I remember when we were in Taupo," said Debra chewing her spicy chicken pizza "We had some prawns at a prawn farm. Man, it was awesome". 

Once we had finished our pizzas, we got up and threw the pizza boxes in the bin. We walked through the park. It was such a lovely night. The stars were out. Malcom said "I know a good bar that we can get to. It's called the Bar Luca. Maybe we can drink a few beers before we go clubbing". 

"That's a great idea" said Sarah. 

"Yeah," I said "That would be awesome". 

"So, we're walking?" Said Lucy "It's just a few blocks from here". 

Once we left the park, we crossed the intersection and made our way up Bridge Street. People waved at us as we walked past and so we waved back. Along the way we passed a park on our left. I asked Malcom how he paid for the car. His reply was "I paid it off to the car dealer. By sending wads of cash through the mail every week". 

We walked down a few blocks and turned right onto Phillip Street. About halfway down the road was a small bar on the left called the Bar Luca. We followed Malcom into the bar, went up to the counter and ordered our alcohol. I ordered myself a Woodstock and Sarah a vodka cruiser. Malcom had a pint of beer, Lucy a martini and Debra a rum and coke. Once we had grabbed our alcohols we walked over to the table to have our beers. 

Some Polynesian turned around and said "You must be Steven McFerris from the Bank Universe and you must be Sarah Marshal". 

"Nice to meet you," said Sarah "This is Debra, Malcom and Lucy". 

"Yeah, I know you all". He placed his hand on his chin. "Name's Saka by the way. I'm from Tonga". 

"Come and sit with us" said Malcom. Saka obliged and came and sat at our table. "How's it going?" 

"Ahh. Had an issue with getting money to fix my car, Mr. Prime Minister. You see, I was sitting at the traffic lights when this dude crashed into the back of my car. I climbed out of my car and said 'Look what you done. You gonna pay for it?' He said 'no. You stopped suddenly and cause me to crash into the back of your car. And you are going to pay for the damage to my car!' I told him 'No, you crashed into the back of my car. The traffic light was red'. And so, we kept arguing about it. People came up to him and said to him 'You caused the crash, you pay for it'. So, he rang the police on me and told them I refused to pay the damage to his car". 

"Don't you have car insurance?" I asked. 

"What's dat?" 

"It's when a company pays for the damage done to the car or house". 

"We don't have that in our world," said Debra "What you're talking about". 

Turns out insurance companies and other financial institutions don't exist in this universe. Saka continued the story. 

"So, the police came," continued Saka "and asked us questions. They asked the people who witnessed the accident and they backed up our side of the story. So, the police told the guy he must pay for the damages. He refused to pay and told the cops to fuck off. So, they arrested him". 

"Shouldn't swear at a cop" said Debra. 

"So, they took him to court. And the judge ordered him to pay for the damages, by any means necessary. So, I've been receiving cash from him every week. Which I use to pay off the bill to fix my car". 

"What if he can't afford to pay?" Asked Sarah. 

"Then he would have to barter his way to pay for the damages," said Malcom "Otherwise the cops can seize his property and use his deeds to pay off the damage". 

"What if both of them are responsible for the damage?" I asked. 

"Usually," Malcom gulped down some beer as I sipped my Woodstock. "The person with the lowest bill pays the difference. There's a good night club we can go to. It's called the Supper Club Intercontinental Sydney". 

"Yeah," said Debra, a grin forming on her face "let's go there". 

We sculled down the rest of our alcohol and left the bar. We turned right up Phillip Street, right on Bridge Street and then left up Macquarie Street. Malcom led us into the sky scraper. We took the lift to the top floor. 

"There we go, you two. The Supper Club Intercontinental Sydney" announced Malcom. 

The song Fire Starter by Prodigy was playing. There was a bar to the left and lush turquoise leather couches surrounding flash coffee tables. The room was packed.  

"This is such a lovely place" said Sarah looking around with a smile on her face. 

"Fabulous" I said. The night club had great atmosphere. 

"Let's go get a drink" suggested Lucy. 

We went up to the bar tender and ordered ourselves some alcohol. I bought Sarah a penicillate mud shake and me a bottle for Stein lager beer. Malcom got himself a Stein lager too and a sherry for Lucy. Debra ordered a glass of wine. I handed the money over to the bar tender who enthusiastically put it in the till. Then I noticed the bartender grabbing some money from the till and putting it in his wallet. 

"Did you see that?" I said. 

"Happens all the time," said Malcom "Everybody does it. Maybe he's short on money. Come. Let's have a sit down. We'll take a table with a beautiful view". 

We went outside on the balcony where we sat at the coffee table and enjoyed our alcohol. I popped open the bottle of Stein lager, the cool beer going down my throat. That was refreshing. 

"Ahh," said Malcom "Nothing like a cool beer on a hot summers day. What you think, Steve?" 

"You sure got that right" I replied. 

"When I was doing my bachelor of science back in 2005," said Debra sipping her wine "I used to go down to the Student Union building at the University of Auckland to collect my student allowance every week. They would pay me five hundred dollars in cash". Debra looked out at the Sydney Harbour Bridge. The people in this universe treated money as an object. Money here had real value. "I would spend it on rent, food and alcohol. I used to spend the money at the bars and nightclubs". Debra looked at Sarah and me. I had my arm around Sarah's shoulder. "If I needed money to pay the course fees, I would go down to the city council and they would send the money directly to the university. I would save my money to buy stationary and text books". 

"That's good," I said "At least people can't use the student loan to pay for stereos or computer". 

"They did that in your world?" 

"They did," said Sarah "Until the National Government at the time clamped down on it". 

"When I was doing my masters on quantum physics. Whenever we were broke, we would go up to our head of department and ask for money. Fred, my love of my life," Debra sipped some more wine. I gulped down some beer. "He would take the money out of the university vault to help me pay the bills". Debra smiled. "He's so charming". 

"He did that?" Said Sarah, her eyes wide open. 

"That's theft," I said "I can't believe he did that". 

"It's very common for people to take money from company vaults," said Malcom "Everyone does it. No big deal. Like when you borrow money from one of your friends. Except no one expects you to pay it back". 

"Not many people do that in our world" I said. 

It never occurred to me that my bank was protecting my money from thieves all along. I had taken my bank for granted. But I now know how important banks are. In this world anyone can take money from their company and no one is there to protect the money. 

"Shall we go dance, sweety?" said Sarah. 

"Yeah. Sounds great" I replied. 

Sarah turned to Debra and the Turnbulls and said "Coming?" 

"Yeah. Might as well". 

We got up from our seats and danced to the song Smack My Bitch Up by Prodigy. We danced there for ages. Swinging our arms around and twisting our hips. We danced to Beautiful Day and Stuck in A Moment by U2, singing to the songs. Sarah wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I held her waist as we kissed each other on the lips, sticking our tongues in each other's mouths. Her lips tasted sweet, her body was warm. We both laughed. Sarah giggled. 

"Want to go do it in the bathroom?" Whispered Sarah. 

"Yeah. That would be great" I replied. 


Sarah grabbed me by the hand and led me towards the toilets. We entered the men's' toilets and into one of the stalls, closing the door behind us. I lifted up Sarah's dress and pulled down her undies. Sarah unzipped my jeans, pulled out my dick and massaged it. My dick went hard when I stuck my fingers in her vagina. Once Sarah was satisfied that my dick was hard, she told me to enter her. So, I entered her pussy and thumped hard against her. I felt my loins burning, my dick was hard. Sarah orgasmed. It was a pleasant sensation, feeling the warmth of her pussy around my dick. Being inside her. Then I ejaculated inside her, feeling the sperm burst out. It was such a relief. 

"Did you enjoy it?" Said Sarah, pulling up her undies and pushing her dress down. 

"Yes. That was awesome" I said. I zipped up my pants. "You are such a good fuck. I enjoy being in your pussy". 

I kissed her on the lips, holding her head in my hands and giving her tongue. She pulled away and said "Let's go back to the dance floor. The others will be wondering where we are". 

The guys steered as we exited the stall. Once we left the toilets I heard them yelling "Wahoo" and "Man, he got laid". We made our way across the dance floor. Malcom saw us coming, his eyebrows were raised as he said "I was wondering where you were? Come. Let's go see the Sydney Opera House". 

"OK" said Sarah. 

I had my arm around her waist as we exited the night club. We waved goodbye to the waiters and bartenders. We went down to the ground floor, exited the building and turned left up Macquarrie Street. The night was peaceful. The crickets singing in the gum trees. To the right was the Royal Botanical Gardens. 

"Such a clear night though" said Sarah. 

"Yeah," replied Debra "the stars are so beautiful". 

We walked right up to the end of Macquarie Street towards the Sydney Opera House. It was such a lovely building, resembling white seashells that were upside down. The DJ was playing Shihad as the crowd danced to the music. 

"It's an amazing building the Sydney Harbour Bridge" I said. 

"Yeah" said Sarah. 

"I believe they delivered a truck load of money to the builders," said Malcom "Who distributed the money to the carpenters, electricians, labourers, plumbers and suppliers for the materials". 

Sarah grabbed my hand and led me towards the edge of the wharf which had been fenced to prevent people from falling into the harbour. Once we reached the edge, Sarah placed right arm around my waist. We looked out at the Sydney Harbour Bridge across the harbour. It was a great piece of engineering. 

"Isn't it great," said Sarah smiling "the bridge. It's so beautiful". 

"Yeah," I replied "So amazing. Look at the lights across the harbour". 

Sarah turned to me and smiled. I smiled back. I placed my arms around her waist and she put her arms on my shoulders. We kissed each other on the lips. 

© Copyright 2019 simon arthur. All rights reserved.

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