Columbus Warp: World Without Acting

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Trans-dimensional explorers, Fred Watson and Debra O'Brien, go to the cinemas to watch a documentary, then spend the night in watching TV with their hosts and their aunt and uncle in a parallel world without acting.

Submitted: September 20, 2019

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 20, 2019



Debra and I had just woken up. We had gotten dressed and walked up the corridor to the living room. Debra and I were trans-dimensional explorers working for a New Zealand company called Columbus Warp. We were in the rural area called Hexton which was close to Gisborne City, New Zealand, in a parallel world where they did not have actors. They didn’t do any acting in this world. No plays, no movies, no TV programmes. They did not have comedians either. 


Debra and I had been dating for over a year now; ever since she came exploring with me. She looked so beautiful with her brown wavy hair, glasses and short medium body. She wore a purple shirt, jeans and was barefoot. 


Let me explain the history of this parallel world. The people here had been telling stories about their adventures for thousands of years. Yet they never made up stories as they only told stories that are true. Although, just like us, these people do tell lies in this world. No, we are not in that same world as portrayed in the movie The Invention of the Lie starring Jim Carrie. It’s that the people in this particular world have never done any acting what so ever. 


In this world William Shakespeare was a famous historian, known for his public seminars on European history. Especially the Romans, King Henry V, Macbeth and the Holy Roman Empire. When Thomas Edison invented the film projector, he made the world's first documentary which was a silent documentary. He showed himself and his family going on a trip to New York where they see the Statue of Liberty, Central Park and the shops. The silent documentaries focused on famous locations such as Paris, Rome, Nazi Germany, Washington DC. There was even a silent documentary about World War I called The Great War.


The first documentary to feature sound and speech was about the discovery of Tutankhamen's sarcophagus in the Egyptian Pyramids back in October of 1936. This was followed by a documentary called Quantum Mechanics which was presented by Neil Boer and Earnest Rutherford who explained how they discovered the structure of the atom. Ernest Rutherford was in fact a New Zealander! Isn’t that amazing. And another documentary which came out shortly after that one featured how doctors Crink and Watson discovered the structure of the DNA molecule. 


Then came TV which was introduced by John Loggie Baird. Ever since TV was introduced in the 1950’s people have been using TV to watch the documentaries, game shows, infomercials, reality TV, currant affairs; all of which do not feature any acting what so ever. 


Debra and I entered the living room to find our hosts, Michael McCallum, and his younger sister, Stephanie, who were our guides to this universe, watching a documentary on the tele with their Aunt Sarah. Their uncle, Patrick, was cooking bacon and eggs on the stove. I could hear it sizzling on the pan. 


Hello, there” said Michael waving to me. 


“Morning” said Stephanie with her long wavy brown hair. 


“Take a seat,” said Sarah “Pat will be finished with the cooking very soon”. 


“Come and get your breakfast” said Pat, as he carried the trays of bacon and eggs into the living room. 


We all grabbed our plates and got stuck into our breakfast, shovelling our food into our mouths. We were watching a documentary about how Prince Andrew had been hanging out with Epstein who committed suicide in jail after he was found guilty of sex trafficking back in July. It only just surfaced that Prince Andrew had sex with a seventeen-year-old at Epstein’s Mansion. Apparently, Prince Andrew was not aware that Epstein was trafficking teenagers as sex slaves. 


“Apparently, the media have been saying that Andrew was in on the sex trafficking since he’s been hanging out with Epstein” said Pat. Pat had a heavy build with a bold head. Sarah was also a big woman with wavy red hair. “Off course, Andrew denies knowing about Epstein’s sex trafficking”. 


“Just because Prince Andrew’s been hanging out with Epstein doesn’t mean he's involved with the sex trafficking,” I said “For example, my step dad went to jail for having sex with my niece after he stopped giving in to her demands. But it was she who emotionally blackmailed him into having sex with her. I was never involved in this. I didn’t even know about it until mum told me he was arrested”. 


“How could you not know about it?” said Sarah. 


“I was off exploring a parallel world when that happened. How am I supposed to know it was happening if I was in another alternate universe! You can’t see into the OTHER PARALLEL UNIVERSES!” 


“We can only see in three dimensions” added Michael. 


Why do you bring a visitor into this house that is associated with a convicted sex offender?” yelled Pat. 


“My step dad is not a sex offender. My niece lied to the police about being raped. He was under stress at the time. I can’t simply ditch my family just because he went to PRISON!” 


“My job, uncle, is to welcome any trans-dimensional visitors who come into our world! Just because his step dad went to jail because he had sex with a teenager does not mean he condones having sex with underage girls. I just have to host him. THAT IS MY JOB! 


And I might add,” said Stephanie “Just because Prince Andrew hanged out with Epstein does not mean the Royal Family condones underage sex”. 




“Ok, ok,” said Pat “No need to shout, mate. I get where you’re coming from. The Royal Family weren’t involved in sex trafficking. Just don’t lose your temper, that’s all I’m saying”. 


Just then, the ads came on. They showed the trailer for the documentary series The Fabric of The Cosmosat the theatre. 


“That looks like a good doco,” said Michael “Let's go see it”. 


“Yeah,” said Debra smiling “Let’s watch”. 


“Good idea”I said. 


After we had finished wolfing down our breakfast and sculled back the rest of our coffees, we washed and dried the dishes, putting them away. Then we climbed into Pat's van. Pat climbed into the driver’s seat, started the engine and we took off down the gravel driveway. We turned right onto Hexton Road, then turned left onto the Back Ormond Road towards the city. 






We parked the van on Peel Street, climbed out and Pat locked it by remote. We walked up to Gladstone Road, which was the main street, and turned left. Debra said “Can’t wait to see the documentary”. 


“Yeah,” said Stephanie “should be good”. 


We turned left into the Odeon Theatre and stood in the queue as we waited to purchase our tickets. Once we had bought the tickets, the cashier said “It will be in theatre one”. 


We went over to theatre one, showing our tickets to the usher who let us in. He said “Enjoy” as he smiled at us. We went and found our seats and sat down. While we waited for the documentary to start, there was a message on the screen saying that we should turn our cell phones off so as not to disturb the other patrons. Fair enough. We switched off our cell phones. I switched off my gravity phone that I use to contact my coms officer in our universe. Then the ads came on. Once the ads were finished the lights went out and the documentary started. 


The Fabric of The Cosmos was made up of four episodes and was made by Nova. It was presented by a famous physicist named Brian Greene, whose book the documentary is based on. The first part was called What is Space. It explained in essence what space was. He explained that an ice skater spins in relation to space. As she folded her arms in, she spun faster. Isaac Newton thought that space was a stage and we were the actors. But he was wrong. 


Then came Albert Einstein who realised that light in a car travelling at 50 kilometres per hour went at the same speed as from a car that was still. The speed at which a car travels did not increase the speed of light as the speed of light remained constant. So forth, space had to stretch in order to compensate. Einstein also explained that if an object, such as Earth or the sun, was big enough itwould warp space around it. 


During the 1960’s a physicist thought up an experiment to prove this theory. In the early 2000’s, after receiving funding from a Saudi Arabian prince, they attached four gyroscopes onto a satellite telescope. It turned out that the pull of space shifted the gyroscopes at a small angle, thus proving that space is warped around the Earth. Space can stretch, warp and twist. 


The second part was called The Illusion of Time. It started with Brian Greene asking the ticket guard if the train was on time. He explained that If a person was moving, then the time would actually slow down for that person. But the effects are so small we don’t notice it. Scientists had performed an experiment to prove this theory. Einstein also knew that time and space was connected in what he called the space time continuum. According to his theory, if an alien 200 light years away cycled away from Earth then his now would be in 1819 for us. But if the alien cycled towards us then his now would be two hundred years into the future for us. Even though time could go in reverse, it appeared to be going forward due to the laws of entropy. Ever since the big bang. 


The third part was called Quantum Mechanics. Brian Greene appeared to be taking an escalator to the quantum cafe where he explained quantum mechanics which effected the world on a subatomic level. According to the theory, electrons can only occupy certain shells around an atom. They can appear in more than one place at a time. But they can only be pin pointed if they’re observed. Electrons flow in a probability wave. Hence the uncertainty principal. If two particles are close together then they become entangled due to particle entanglement. For example if one particle is spinning clockwise, the other particle would be spinning anticlockwise. 


There are scientists using particle entanglement to teleport photon particles from one island to the next. Another group of scientists is building a quantum computer which uses the principal of quantum mechanics to allow particles to be in more than one place at a time to perform more than one calculation at a time. Thereby solving equations much faster.  


And the last part was titled The Multiverse in which Brian Greene explained the multiverse theory which I did my Ph.D. on in order to start the Columbus Warp project. When a couple of Soviet physicists first proposed the theory, no one took them seriously. Then the theory gained support from string theory which predicted 7 additional dimensions as well as height, width, depth and time; dark energy which explains why the universe is expanding at a faster rate. There was a third pillar as well too. 


But universes are constantly formed all the time with multiple big bangs. I’ve seen these big bangs every time Debra and I travel between parallel dimensions. I’ve seen the membranes of the multiverse twist and turn in all eleven dimensions including time. I’ve been to many parallel worlds. 


Once the documentary was over, we poured out of the cinema and headed back to the van. It was also sunset at the time. I had my left arm around Debra’s waist. 


“What should we have for dinner?” said Sarah. 


“Let's have fish and chips” said Debra. 


“Yeah, that sounds nice,” said Pat “Fish and chips it is”. 






On our way back to Pat and Sarah’s place, we stopped over at Lytton West Fish and Chips to get our dinner. Pat ordered six scoops of chips. I ordered a sausage and a fish, Debra ordered two fish, Sarah wanted fish, Michael got two hot dogs, Stephanie asked for battered mussels and Pat got sausages. Once we purchased our fish and chips we went home. 


We pulled up the driveway and got out as Pat unlocked the front door. We turned on the tele, having our fish and chips on the floor. First, we watched the news. They mentioned Prince Andrew being associated with Epstein who commuted suicide in jail after being convicted of sex trafficking. They talked about Ivanka Trump attending the G20 summit. We gobbled down our fish and chips as we watched the news; washed it down with coke zero. 


First, we watched an episode of the chase where a group of four contestants are up against the chaser. The chaser had to chase the contestants on a board. If he caught up with them, the contestants lost the money. But if they manage to get away, then they would win the money. 


“I remember when I was young,” said Pat “There used to be a game show series called The Krypton Factor”. 


“I remember that show,” I said “I was a child back then”. I turned to Debra and she looked up at me. “They had a memory test, they had a puzzle segment, an obstacle course, and a general knowledge test. I used to play the obstacle course on Krypton Factor. I climbed under mumsbed and went behind a door. I remember watching another game show called Mastermind”. 


“Yeah. Where they asked the contestants general knowledge questions. Plus, I used to watch Money or the Bag which ran from the 60’s to the 80’s. Then there was Top Town”. 


“That was the obstacle course show where each team represented a town. Remember Sale of The Century with Mark Leishman and Lara Kroft?”. 


“Yeah. Lara Kroft was hot back in the day. Then there was Wheel of Fortune with Jude Law and Mark Leishman. That was a fun show to watch, hey, Fred?” 


“Yes. The good old 80’s. Those were the days”. I sighed. 


At the end of the show, the contestants had the final round in which they had to answer general knowledge questions. The more points they got right, the more bars they got and the more likely they would be to bet the chaser. Then they called on the chaser, this time the Governor, and she had to answer the questions. For each question she got right, she gained a bar. If she got a question wrong, the contestants pushed her back. Fortunately, she did not get time to answer all the questions so the contestants won and we cheered. It was not often that the contestants won. 


“That was a great show,” said Sarah “Not everyday that the contestants won”. 


“That’s for sure” said Stephanie. 


The first documentary to come on the tele was Deadly Women. It wasa documentary series about women that murdered people. It was on TV2 that we were watching these documentaries. On this episode there was a schizophrenic teenage girl with short, close crop hair that went around shooting people at the mall. She had this paranoid schizophrenia and was a military fanatic that marched on the spot in her bedroom and swiped the pills away when her mum tried to get her to take them. When she was locked up in a mental hospital, she hid the pills under her tongue. 


Then there was this blonde prostitute, whom they called the Monster, that went around shooting men in an execution style  and went on the run with her lesbian girlfriend. They made a movie about her in our universe called The Monster. 


“I remember a few years ago,” said Sarah “They made a documentary about her called The Monster. She dated that girl. First met her at an ice-skating rink”. 


“There was a doco a few years back called Boys Don’t Cry,” said Michael “About that transsexual guy who got murdered after his girlfriend’s brother found out about it”. 


In our universe, Boys Don’t Cry was a movie, not a documentary. It was based on a true story.  


“They talked about it on the Oprah Winfrey Show” said Sarah. 


“So tragic that was” I said. 


In the last segment of the documentary, they featured a mother who got her children to beat, torture and murder a sixteen-year-old girl. She gave the two girls a beating after their dad failed to pay her for looking after them and said she would whack them everytime their father failed to send a cheque. Then the older red head girl took the beating to protect her sister. The mum burnt cigarettes on her body, hung her by the arms, got her kids to hold her down as she carvedI’m a prostitute and proud of it on her stomach with a knife. She screamed during the ordeal. cops came in after hearing a report from one of the neighbour's kids and her little sister explained to them what happened. The mother got arrested. 


“How can a mother be so cruel to a child,” said Stephanie “That’s sad”. 


“Yeah,” said Michael “Remember they made a documentary about it”. 


How ironic that they made a movie about it too. In our universe.  After that episode was finished we watched an episode of The Haunting where a teenage boy came to the museum and saw an Egyptian sarcophagus. When he touched the sarcophagus, he got attacked by this Egyptian crocodile demon which the Egyptians used to worship. His parents didn’t believe him and he ended up getting possessed by the demon. Later in life, when he became an adult, they had to perform an exorcism on him as he was possessed. The deliverance minister finally got the demon out of him and he was free. 




In this documentary, Simon showed us around the dairy farms. Most of the dairy farms didn’t abandon their bobby calves on the side of the road. I saw a dairy farm teach a calf how to drink milk from a plastic bucket, by pushing his nose into the bucket and making him drink. Teaching them to drink milk from the trough. If the farmers had not shown their calves how to drink milk from a bucket in the first place, the domestic cattle would have gone extinct a few millennia ago. Isn’t it in the farmer’s best interest to keep the calves alive so they can make it to adulthood? So they can produce more cattle to keep producing milk so they make money. 


The documentary explained that the animal rights activist from Safe was spreading lies about the New Zealand dairy industry in order to gain attention. They would destroy their own country’s reputation to get their message across. 


“I have a lot of friends who are dairy farmers,” said Pat “ And they never abused their calves. A majority of them look after their cattle. The animal rights activists are liars”. 


The next documentary we watched was about how the US army had located Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan, and how they captured him. After the 9 11 attack the Americans invaded Afghanistan and overthrew the Taliban for harbouring the terrorist. He was finally located in a mansion, surrounded by guards. They sent in the special forces to capture him. They had to kill his guards in order to capture him. Osama Bin Laden was finally shot in the living room. They dumped his body in the sea. Ever since then ISIS took over from All Qaeda as the leaders of Islamic terrorism. 


The last documentary we watched for the night was The Kardashianswhich was a reality TV series about a family with grown up daughters and a father who had a sex change. They showed Kim Kardashian giving birth to her baby daughter whom they named North. She was married to K West who was a famous rapper. The girls went all gauche of her. 


She’s so cute” said Debra with her arm around my neck. Debra kissed me on the lips and continued watching the program. 


“That is a cute baby,” said Sarah “I remember when I gave birth to my first child. She was so beautiful”. 


“That’s nice” said Stacy. 


Once the program was over, Debra grabbed my hand and led me down the hall to the bedroom. We took of our shirts and paints, kicked off our shoes, wrapped our arms around each other, kissed each other on the lips. We climbed into bed under the sheets. I climbed on top of Debra and we kissed on the lips as I entered into her. 

© Copyright 2020 simon arthur. All rights reserved.

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