A Drop of Rain

Reads: 330  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 3

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
To anyone else a ray of sunlight would have been mending, but to her it was suffering.................

Submitted: March 15, 2008

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 15, 2008

A A A

A A A


Her face was buried into the pillow as a flood of tears caused the stiffness below her to disperse. The pillow formed tightly around her head as it muffled her deep and pain filled sobs. Once again she had reached her breaking point. The unsureness of her situation continued to resound in her head; it was as if a rookie mechanic had replaced her brain with a dysfunctional revolving door. No matter what was said or what actions were taken the doubt had taken over. Her sanity was literally on the brink of extinction. The events that had taken place over the past few months continued to rewind themselves. Right now the past week was replaying itself for the hundredth time. It was all things she had seen already, but seeing them was not the issue at hand, the issue at hand was that even though in words it had been resolved in her mind it was still lingering. It wasn’t because she didn’t know what she wanted, in fact that wasn’t it at all, if anything she was the only person that knew what she wanted. It was the fact that this same thing had been said or agreed upon for the second time just this month, never mind the fact that working it out had also been agreed upon multiple times throughout the last four. No, it was because she didn’t know if she could believe him this time either. With him it was constantly back and forth. For weeks straight he would tell her he did not want to be with her, he had no interest in spending time with her, he didn’t foresee a relationship working between the two, and if she went out and found someone else it would make life easier for him because she wouldn’t be so stuck on him. For a while she would fight, she would refuse not to believe such hurtful things, and she would continue to stand up for their love and the relationship they could have. She would continue to stand up to the fact it was what they both wanted.  Yet after so many weeks of hearing he didn’t want to be with her she would lose confidence in herself and him and began to descend in the direction she already believed he had gone. Regardless of what she wanted it had seemed better to accept it then fight it. Of course, as her luck always went, when she did take that step he would be right back on board fighting to convince her he hadn’t meant it, that she was what he wanted, and not being with her was not an option that could be considered. He would blame himself for all that had happened and let her know he wanted to work things out.  She would be hesitant at first, but her want would soon overcome should because should just couldn’t possibly be. The reason, she had gone through too much to get here. To have this chance again, a second move thirteen hundred miles away from her home town, her friends, and her family, just to prove to him he could count on her. Just because it is what he said he had wanted, and if you knew him like she did saying that alone was too meaningful to it had to be meant to be why else would she be here again. There was no other reason. This wasn’t the kind of thing that usually got a second chance. Just as she began to believe him again he would show her she couldn’t. For months this went on, not just for a few hours at a time during the day but for days. Back and forth he would go casting her out and reeling her in again just as he was about to lose the hook. Her feelings for him were just too strong, the emotional stress of all this was too much to handle, and here she was again, in the same spot, dealing with the same thing, fighting with herself rather to believe him or not. Rather to agree and try again or to keep things the way they were. She would always go back, and he would always do what she feared from the start. Yesterday had been the start of it all again. A simple comment, a resulted attitude, expressed feelings and another argument was soon taking place. When it became difficult he would run, and running was what he was doing again. The clouds diminished, and the dust had settled, the two had become content, still left undecided of what really was going to be done, but both content with what was currently going on. Then as if it was just an eye of the storm the wind furiously picked up again. She was crying now because he had left, because he had spent the night telling her he didn’t want to go, he wanted to stay with her, he wanted to spend time with her, getting upset because their plans to go out together were once again deteriorating, spending six hours trying to convince her it was her he wanted to spend time with. She started out fighting his words, not believing them, but hoping he meant them, and just as she began to convince herself he did mean them, and she could believe him, he casts her out once again. Leaving knowing she doesn’t want him to, leaving knowing she feels hurt and betrayed, leaving knowing that when she is alone the pain causes her to lose a bit more of her sanity, leaving knowing she will do almost anything to stop this pain. Upset and hurt she states she is done, that she wants to hold on to the small bit of sanity she may possibly have left, though her mind set doesn’t allow her to accept how she really feels. She lets him leave, knowing that she said something she doesn’t really want, she lets him leave knowing there is a possibility he won’t accept it when she tells him she didn’t mean what she had said.  She lets him leave knowing how much pain she feels and just how far gone she really is. A ray of sunlight peeks through the crack in her curtains, she feels the warmth of the suns ray on the bareness of her back. Suppressing the sobs she sits up and lets the light caress her eyelids. If only it were raining it would relate so much better to how the world really is, it would relate so much better to how people really are, if only it were raining the tears streaming down her face wouldn’t feel so out of place as they glisten in the sunlight. Tired of the deception that has been created she watches as her tears fall onto the silver blade that is pressed against her skin, she watched as the salty water droplets ran off the blade as it traveled along the veins of her wrist. The sunlight reflected a tint of red off her fallen tears that had once been clear.

To anyone else a ray of sunlight would have been mending, but to her it was suffering.


© Copyright 2017 SimpleySplendiferous. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

More Romance Short Stories