Who am I to be?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
My struggle to finding who I am and where I should be.

Submitted: June 24, 2008

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Submitted: June 24, 2008

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The darnkess surrounds me

I feel as if I am being suffocated by all this self inflicted hostility

The anger spreads through me, almost as if It was determing to stangle all the happiness I feel

Anxiety takes over as I have trouble breathing

The air it feels so thick

As if thousands of gallons of oil are spilling over me

Tears swell up in my eyes building a flimsy wall

And with a simple blink all of my defenses will fall

I am weak in the knees

I watch them as they shake

I fall to the ground gasping for breath as I silently sob

All this pain just builds and builds

All the love I once knew has turned to hate

My fingers quiver as I write this

For the fear of gaining happines and losing it once more is far to great

The unfairness I feel is too much for me to deal

All this regret I have forever haunts my world

I just want this pain to all dispense

I just wish I could trust again

Because with trust I can once again feel free

I hate how I am

I hate why I have became the person I am

This person that is no longer me

And the questions they linger

They seem to always resound

Who am I today?

Who will I be tomororw?

Is there ever a way I will ever know

Is there ever a way to tell?

The confusion it jumples

Scrambles within

I feel so alone even though I am surrounded by all these people

I just want to scream at the top of my lungs

I continue to wish it will someday get better

Then I laugh at myself as I shake my head in realization that the thought is nothing but a dream

The stupidity swarms as I wonder who do I think I am kidding?

The thought it is so real yet I stand in a pool of denial

I should have listened

I should have stayed

I should of continued the journey I started to run

Then maybe again what I did was right

Yet once again I know that answer is not correct.

I fall to the ground as I rock back and forth

There it remains

Yes it tears me apart

Who Am I?

Will I ever know?


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