Things I will never Say

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A letter to him who doesn't know you exist.

Submitted: September 13, 2013

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Submitted: September 13, 2013

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Unsent Letter

 
When I met you I remember you walking in late to sunday school and even in first or second grade time stood still and all I could see was your freckles and amazing eyes. I remember those few times when you talked to me as a young girl. You made me feel so special. I probably creeped you out and still do. I remember when we played capture the flag at camp. Did I scare you away? I probably did. I am too loud. Too annoying. Too ugly to be liked let alone loved by you. It kills me to say this even if it is true. When you mentioned that girl Summer. I hope you didn't notice the anger on my face the sadness in my eyes. I hate liking you. Especially when you make me feel not good enough. When I walk in to school and see you my breath catches in my throat and my heart skips a beat. Seeing you laugh and smile makes me feel giddy. Hearing your name makes me smile. In sixth grade I stared at you a lot. You probably noticed and you are probably glad that I don't have any classes with you. I loved the way you looked in science when you had a content smile on your face and you were completely engrossed. I liked watching you on the bus when you were (or were at least pretending to be) asleep. I wrote that note in 
sixth grade though you probably figured it out. Gosh, I was stupid. I was naïve. You will avoid me forever after this but that's okay. Nothing will change I guess. I am worried that after we graduate I will never see you again. Maybe you'll like me before then and we'll stay in touch. I know it is not coming true, but that doesn't mean a girl can't dream. Well not exactly. I used to dream about you liking me back but then that set expectations. Here's some advice. Always expect the worst. If the worst comes, you're ready. If not you get a pleasant surprise. I got high expectations and look where I am now. Ripping out a piece of my heart and throwing it aside as if you never mattered. But as long as you are happy I will be okay. Not great, but surviving. Be happy. If not for me, for Summer. She better take care of you. Make sure you are always smiling, always cared for and loved.I know that you wouldn't be happy with me. That's okay. But if you love someone, don't let her go. Ever. I am letting go now. I am going to forget. I am going to pretend that you mean nothing to me anymore until I believe it myself. This is the last time I will say it. I Love You.
 
Love,
Me
 


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