Subconscious: Normality is Key

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
In Subconscious: Normality is Key, we follow, in first person, the day of a clincally insane man. He is un-named as are the rest of the characters. We come in at the peak of his insanity when he decides to venture off and try to make a better life for himself.

Submitted: November 20, 2008

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Submitted: November 20, 2008



\"I don’t understand why you want me to be perfect.\"

She walked out the door and all I could do was stare. I felt my whole world crash down around me. The ceiling fan was on a slow spin, the rotations were in sync with the second hand on my clock. Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, and she was gone. The last thing I saw of her was a strand of loose hair that floated toward me, I caught it and placed it in my pocket. It is still there. According to Big Ben I’ve been at my home for ten years, four months, three weeks, five days, seven hours, eight minutes and thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen seconds. I don’t think that I have slept a wink in that time. Why should I? What does tomorrow hold for me? I really don’t want to find out. I notice a man to my left, just...looking at me. \"Sir, are you OK?\" He motions toward me, but I shift away. \"OK? Am I OK? My wife was murdered in front of me, and you ask if I am OK?\" \"Sir, I-\" I stand up to face him. \"It happened ten years, four months, three weeks, five days, seven hours, ten minutes and-\" The sixteenth second has passed. \"And what? Sir?\" \"According to Ben, I missed the sixteenth second, I must be on my way, good day now sir.\" I leave the man standing with the box I called home, he can have it now, I have no need for it. I have never in ten years, four months, three weeks, five days, seven hours and nine minutes, missed the sixteenth second. I took this as a calling, for if I can miss one second, I could miss them all. For the first time in...well, you know the drill...I’m turning a corner. I’m following a well dressed lady with long, flowing, silver hair. Her purse is packed to the max with makeup and the likes. Just then I thought to myself \"how many children could I fit in there?\". She reaches in and pulls out a satchel, a penny drops. I’m nearly crying, for something like a penny doesn’t belong on the ground, it belongs in that woman’s hand. I pick it up and hold it out to her. \"Ma’am, you dropped this. I am returning it to you. May you please take it back?\" \"Excuse me?\" She turns to face me. \"Oh, why thank you good sir, but by the looks of you, you need it. You may keep it.\" The look on her face was so wrong, why would she not want this penny back? \"Ma’am, please, take it back, you dropped it, it is rightfully yours.\" \"Sir, I told you, you may keep it\" She doesn’t even turn to face me, she just keeps walking nonchalantly down the way. \"But...I don’t want it, please, take it back...\" I’m getting slightly angry now. \"OK sir, you are beginning to both bug me and worry me, please, its a penny, I do not need it, if you have no need for it, please, just toss it on the ground.\" \"Toss it on the ground? Ma’am, are you insane?\" Toss a penny on the ground? Does she have no sympathy? \"Sir,\" she stops walking and turns to face me. \"I believe you are the one who is insane, please stop following me, This is the only time I will say that, or I will call the cops. Its a penny, I don’t want it. Please, do something else with it. Good day.\" She begins to walk away, and before I know it, she is gone. I have a penny that does not belong to me, I hope that I can live up to how she treated him. \"And what is your name little fellow? Terribly sorry that I didn’t start the introduction until just now.\" He looks at me blankly, I wait for an answer. People are walking by me, looking at me, I’m scared. \"Please, stop looking at me!\" I’m running now, I don’t know where to go, I don’t know anyone except for Henry. Maybe he has a home I can hide in. I hold him close to my mouth, so he can hear me. I trip and he pops into my mouth. He tastes of copper. What if I swallow him? What will happen? I need to get him out. I see a side road leading to a small parking lot, I’m sure no one will stare at me there! I spit Henry out, he is wet and not breathing. \"Henry, please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, please wake up!\" I don’t think he can hear me. What have I done! I have to get rid of the body. As I look around all I can find is a small patch of dirt near a bush, that will have to do. What is that in the distance? A light. As I approach the light it turns from a ruby red to an emerald green. I can hear the honking of horns all around me. I can take it. I cover my ears and run to the nearest venue, a butcher shop. Inside is a beautiful lady. \"Hello good sir, how are you this fine day?\" Her voice seems too familiar to me. All I can do is stare at her, trying to remember. Her hair is golden brown, eyes a lime green, who is she? \"Sir?\" \"Who are you?\" \"I’m-\" She slowly backs away. \"How did you find me?\" \"It didn’t occur to me that I was even looking for you.\" I remember. \"Well, you have to leave, you aren’t supposed to be here.\" \"You have to help me, please, we can put the past behind us.\" I inch closer to her, she doesn’t back away. I finally make it to the counter, she looks at me with her sad puppy dog eyes. \"What do you need help with...\" \"I killed two people....\" Her jaw drops and she runs into the freezer. I grab a butcher knife that was laying on the counter and follow her. \"You have to help me.\" \"Who did you kill...and why?\" She seems frightened. \"Please, stay away from me, I’m willing to help you if you don’t come near me.\" \"I killed a young man, named Henry.\" I move closer, and closer, and closer until I finally corner her against the wall. \"Who else did you kill...please, tell me.\" \"I killed my wife, ten years, four months, three weeks, five days, eight hours, fourteen minutes and eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen seconds ago.\" \"You must be mistaken, please, we split up and you couldn’t handle it, you were supposed to leave London, you didn’t kill me.\" \"It felt like I did...\" I reach into my pocket and pull out her hair. \"You left this behind.\" I let it go, and it floats to her. As she looks down at the strand of hair I take a swing with the cleaver. One clean swipe is all I need. I cut into her skull and her blood pours out onto the floor. Its like watching a river run into the sea. But I want more. I swing again and again and again. Her brain sits in pieces on the freezer floor. I get closer to the hunks of brain. They smell delectable. What harm could come from trying some? I pick a small piece from the chunk left in her skull. I just decided, that i don’t like it there. I pick it up and slam it onto the floor. It fits better there, with its brothers and sisters. This piece tastes dry, but the pieces that were soaking in the red water taste simply amazing. Oh dear, I just murdered my ex-wife, what will I do now? I know, I can take a stroll down to the cemetery and find a nice spot for her. As I approach the cemetery gates, I notice something is amiss. I want a sandwich. Finding a resting place for my dear departed ex-wife will just have to wait. I see someone beyond the gates, they are crying. Perhaps they are crying because they have a sandwich, but are not hungry enough to eat it. I should ask them. \"Ma’am, sorry to interrupt you while you are weeping uncontrollably, but I was inquiring as to why you were crying.\" She keeps weeping, she doesn’t even notice my presence beside her. \"I was hoping that maybe you had a sandwich, but were not hungry enough to consume it, I can do the honors if you wish.\" She looks up at me with deep, pitiful eyes. \"Who are you? Can you please leave me alone?\" She continues to weep. I leave her, I don’t feel hungry anymore. Why am I at a cemetery? Oh well, I guess its off to search for a new...well, I don’t know what, but something new. As I walk the streets of London, I notice a barbershop just above a small restaurant. I sit across from it watching people go into the barbershop, but never coming back out. Strange if I do say so myself. I will not worry about it, does not concern me, that’s for sure. But I could go for a meat pie. The aroma smells something familiar, and the pie tastes familiar as well. Either way, both are good enough for me. Thank you ma’am, but I cannot pay for your meat pie, I must be off. \"Sir\" A young boy shouts. \"Pay up.\" \"Child, I cannot pay, your meat pies taste like human and I do not have a bone to pick my teeth with. Good day.\" I walk away leaving the kid behind to serve more of his human based meat pie. Where do I go now? Perhaps I can look for buried treasure under that tree in the distance. One step, two steps, three, four, five, six, seven steps, and a leap, here I am, at the base of the tree. Now to dig. Maybe I will sing, as I dig. Maybe I will dance, instead of dig. I will sing and dance and embrace the citizens of London with the joy I feel! \"One step, followed by another. That’s how I dance, perhaps with your brother? I will leap and jump and spin and turn. I will skip and dive and burn this fern. Follow me if you will, its very safe. I will show you ’round this friendly place-\" \"Sir, what are you doing?\" This man just interrupted me while I was singing and dancing. How rude. \"Sir, you have hurt me terribly. Please let me be before I start to cry.\" I Turn around, trying to hold back the tears. A man can’t even enjoy himself in public without being questioned. \"Sir, can you keep a secret?\" \"Um. Yea, I suppose I can, what is it?\" He places his hand on my shoulder. I shake it off. I feel vulnerable. \"Sir, please don’t touch me, I am very vulnerable right now.\" \"What is it?\" \"I...I think I may be...I may be...Pregnant!\" A single tear rolls down my cheek. I turn around and latch onto the stranger behind me. \"Oh god! How could this happen!\" \"Um, sir...I am sorry, but what is going on here?\" His smell made me fall into a dream land full of magical joy and wonders. All I can imagine is him being the bearer of my child. A small boy. No, a small girl. No, a mixture of both. I will name it Meredith. \"Sir, can you please tell me what’s going on here?\" This man doesn’t care about me nor his child. \"You inconsiderate bastard!\" I slap him good across the face and storm off toward my home. During my trip home my contractions are happening closer and closer together, I am going into labor. I am alone in an ally way and there is no one around to help me. I collapse onto the hard brick ground and remove my pants and under garments as fast as possible. My own screaming is making me deaf. Wait a minute, I am man, hear me roar, I do not give birth to babies! I stand up and leave my pants where they lay and continue down the ally way to my home. The door is locked. Maybe my dearest mother is home. I knock. A Tall man dressed in black answers, he must be my butler, I enter my house, cold and naked. \"Hey, buddy, what do you think you are doing?\" My butler grabs me and throws me out the door into the bushes. I can’t believe it. \"Hey, I’m not paying you to kick me out of my own house!\" My butler looks at me angrily and slams the door shut. I am just going to have to forget about going home now. I can hear people across the street talking. They are pointing at me. They seem to think I killed the butcher, they must be crazy. Oh dear, I did kill the butcher didn’t I? Silly me, how could I forget, her brains were delicious, I sure am glad I kept some in my person, in a VERY secret place I might say. As I pull some out the two ladies across the street scream and run to a cop who immediately approaches me. \"Excuse me sir, what is it you’ve got there\" His hand rests on his gun. A pretty gun, she could do so much better than the brute she is with. \"A great snack, good for the brain, would you care for some?\" I slam some of the brain into his face. As he releases his gun, I take her and run. I make it around a corner where I can be alone wit her. \"Oh dear, I saved you, Everything will be OK now.\" She seems filled with lust, as am I. \"Are you sure you want to move so fast?\" She wants me to pull her trigger. I look at her mouth and slowly move my hand up her handle. I can feel her shaking. I put my lips against hers and gently stroke her trigger. Harder. Softer. She wants to kiss my chest. My stomach. My lower phalanges. It feels good. I keep pleasing her. She finally gets off. She screamed really loud. I got off too, I didn’t think it would be so painful and bloody. I scream and go lightheaded, everything gets dark. I awake in a bright room. Everything is white. I can’t hear a sound. I try and stand up, but I am confined to a chair. I am facing a window, and outside there are people walking and looking in at me, pointing and laughing. A man walks into the room and stands behind me with his hands on my shoulders. \"We will find out what’s wrong with you, don’t worry\" \"I did not realize that there was anything wrong with me. Why do you say that?\" Is it a crime to be who you are? \"Sir, you are not normal-\" \"What is normal, doctor? Are you normal?\" \"I would like to think so, yes.\" \"Then that means that everyone else is like you then, right?\" He remains silent for a long while. \"No, everyone else is not like me.\" \"Well, then you are the only normal one, and the rest of the people are insane, is that what you are saying?\" He releases my shoulders and comes in front of me. He has pale skin and deep set eyes. His white beard matches the surrounding of the room. \"No, I am not saying that I am-\" \"Doctor, listen to me for a second.\" He looks into my eyes. \"You only lock up crazy people, and you tell me you are normal, but you also tell me that no one else is like you, that means no one else is normal, and what else is there besides normal doctor? Why isn’t everyone else locked up? \" He continues to stare at me intensely. \"Or maybe what your trying to say is that, Everyone has their own normality, they just show it in different ways than others. Like me. I am normal in my own unique way, just like you, just like your nurse, your mother and your brother if you happen to have one.\" The Doctor doesn’t speak a word, but he pats me on the shoulder and walks over to the door. I can see him looking at me in his reflection on the window. \"I don’t understand why you want me to be perfect.\" I saw the look on his face change in an instant. He walks out the door, and all I can do was stare. I can see Big Ben through the window. It has been exactly four seconds since he left me alone, confined to a chair. It is exactly ten years, four months, three weeks, six days, twelve hours, two minutes and five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen seconds since she walked out that door. I am going to close my eyes now and lean my head back. I wonder what tomorrow has in store for me.

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