Following a rather heavy evening at the Raffles club, where I consumed over 60 units of alcohol, I stayed at the Piccadilly apartment of my parents-in-law. Unfortunately, I committed the following unfortunate acts -
1. Sat on, and killed their budgerigar by mistake.
2. Smashed a 19th century vase.
3. Urinated in the microwave and caused it to explode when I switched it on.
4. Sold their Bang and Olufsen sound system to a Turkish mind reader.
5. Accidentally destroyed their baby grand piano by throwing a wardrobe on it (I thought it was on fire).
6. Finally, made the housekeeper quit her job after I vomited on her 5 year old son.
How can I make amends and restore their former respect in me?
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