you cant drag me down

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is about me and my dad and how he is drug me down for the last time.

Submitted: August 20, 2014

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Submitted: August 20, 2014

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I grew up like many people in my home town, a split family. I never let that bring me down because I know my parents loved me. It started when I was young. My dad took me from my mom because she was having a hard time raising me with her mom suffering from cancer. I was very angry growing up thinking she didn't want to be in my life. Not tthe case at all. My dad was just a very negative person from the start and it affected my whole life. I will be twenty soon and I now know that I must change things or I will never be happy again. I have always looked up toy dad. He was the greatest person I'm my life. We always went camping. Always made sure I had the coolest toys and close. He always kept a roof over my head and food in my belly. Best childhood ever right? Wrong. I had to grow up very fast. I was 10 years old when my nefew came to us I loved him like he was my own brother and I still do. The only problem was I had to watch him all the time. I would have to stop my home work to feed him or change him and sometimes even put him to bed. I know it doesn't sound all bad but it was putting a huge impact on my grades. I did this all the way up untill he was 4 and I had to correct him for calling me mom. When it became to much for me with my grades slipping and never having time to do anything a kid wanted to do, I moved I'm with my mom. My grades got better and I evedn got into sports. Mainly volleyball. I played all through middle school. My mom and sister there to cheer me on,my dad well he was to busy workin. Okay that's understandable. But then my stepdad passed away and things fell apart so I ended up back at my dads. Fell back into the same old rutine except now I was helping my nefew with his homework. Not a big deal untill my grades sliped so far I could no longer play volleyball. That crushed me. I was stuck in this same rut till I was 17 and was aloud to stay home alone. Thing got a little better. I met a guy and really fell in love. I didn't know it was real untill a year ago. But I was still in school but struggling cuz I fell so far behind. I stuck it out my 4 years of high school but when it came time to graduate I wasn't able to walk with my class. Now mind you my dad was to busy to see that I was struggling he just thought I was slacking off. Always telling me to try harder, your boufriend is the reason you are falling behind. Our relationship became nothing but a few words here and there. I would sit in my room and work on all my homework and missing work while he sat in the living room. I have developed a case of depression and didn't care to be around anyone. About a month before school ended my dad got a new girl friend. I was fine with it, thought he would be happieer but instead it made it worse. So when school ended I decided to move out and in with my boyfriend. Well being a grown up I had to get a job to help out, didn't have time to go back. To my dad I was nothing but a fuck up. So that didn't help our relationship any. Ontop of all this his girlfriends grand son was living with them so he had a stable home. Well in time my dad started treating me like an adult, things were going good for about a year. Them one day I went to my friends little brothers football practice and guess who was there watching. My to busy dad. Middle of the day at a football practice. I later found out that he went to all of his home games, but could only make it to 4 of my games in three years so yea it hurt me a little bit. I just brushed it off. Now that I have got my things settled where I'm living, engaged to my amazing boyfriend who has stood by me the whole time, I decided to go back to school. Get a deploma not a ged. And so busy dad has formed a new life. Spends all his time with a kid that's not even his. Had nothing to tell me other that if you did it the first time you wouldn't have this problem. No I'm proud of you or anything. Didn't even care cuz he has a new kid that he can fix all the things that he did wrong with me. I will not be treated like I am nothing anymore. I will finish school then get married and have a wonderful life with or without my dad. I don't need the negative he brings around because I don't need it. I can't be happy like that. I hate to do it cuz he was my everything but I'm now a woman and got to do what makes me happy. sometimes its a hard thing to do but no body can drag me down again. I am free and ready to have a new chapter in my life called happiness. I am doing it alone although I would love for my dad to see it and maybe someday he will but he will not bring me down anymore. The rest lies in his hands. With or without me.


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