Draling Salestine

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
I loved her, i just couldn't show it the way she wanted me to and now she left for good. Guess i'm a coward, guess she won't ever look back.

Submitted: November 28, 2012

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Submitted: November 28, 2012

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One day I woke up and searched for her, and she wasn’t there anymore. In the spot that was supposed to be her long dark brown hair was a small piece of yellow paper “Tonight I’m leaving on a train”. Not an explanation, not even her name was signed and that made me cringe for some reason that I couldn’t understand yet. I grab my phone and feel the urge to text or call her but I knew that I couldn’t, I knew that the words on that note was the way she found to beg for space to think.
 
I take a shower and sit on the edge of my bed and for more than I struggle all that i can think is about her. I notice on the corner of my eye that she left her favorite coat hanging on a chair which makes me wonder why so I get up and walk a few steps to notice that her clothes are still on the wardrobe. I sigh in relief because that’s a sign that she’ll come back.
 
The whole day I spend like this, aiming inside my own house, not being able to focus in anything else but her big dark brown eyes staring at me and how I hope she’s missing me because God, I miss how she would kiss me right now, spreading butterflies all over my stomach as no one ever did before.
 
When the night comes and the moon shows up in the sky I’m still sat on the couch waiting for her, just hoping she’ll open that door and get in cause only god knows how scared I am that she might never come back and I might never see her face again.
 
I fell asleep on the sofa that night and in the next 15 days that followed. She still didn’t come back and I’m still waiting for her, each second of my day I spend waiting for her. Not a single day goes by without I look at her coat in that chair just to remind myself that she would never go away without her fave coat. Maybe I’m just fooling myself but I refuse to lose hope, I refuse to let her go of my mind and slowly forget that she ever existed, because I know that if I get hopeless then I will forget her and she’ll forget me and I’ll never see her dark brown eyes again and even though I’m still doing the same every night, waiting for her, this night I decided to go out.
 
I take a long shower and just leave this house, I walk aimless and quietly on the pathway not caring about where or when I’ll come back. I look at the clock and its half past midnight. Not many people it’s on the streets right now, maybe due the rain that pours quietly over the street. 
 
On my way I see a young couple holding hands, she was wearing a coat that was way too big for her making me guess that it was probably his coat that he gave to protect her of the cold wind and rain. I know I sound like a weird man, walking on the middle of the night under the pouring rain and looking to random people but i don’t even care about what other people think about me right now so I just stand there looking at them. In a certain way they remind me of us in the beginning.
 
After a few minutes my clothes are already wet and I’m freezing so I decide to go back home. I unlock the front door and when I open, she was there sat on the edge of the couch I’ve been sleeping for days. She doesn’t notices when I walk towards her and put my hand on her shoulder.
 
She turns her face to look at me and when her eyes meet mine I notice how red they were.  We stand there looking at each other for a couple of minutes that felt like hours, I didn’t say anything or move a single muscle but only god know how I was struggling with every inch of my body to not kiss her lips before she get up and walk upstairs without saying a single word.
 
I wanted to go after her but I thought it would be better if I just waited and after five minutes or so she came downstairs holding her coat, her favorite coat.
 
‘’What are you doing?’’ I ask almost panicking
 
She looks at me and there’s tears pouring down her face and with a simple sentence she stabbed my heart a thousand of times.
 
‘’I’m leaving’’ 
 
I paralyze and feel my whole body get into an intense pain. I stood there looking at her like if I couldn’t believe of what she just said. She couldn’t face me so she just opened the door and left me there.
 
I wanted to speak, I wanted to shout and stop her to go away but I couldn’t. She was leaving me and there was nothing I could do.
 
I could hear that the pouring rain was heavy by now, funny how it was fitting my mood. 
 
I sit on the floor and cry the whole night, I cry wishing my chest will stop hurting, I cry hoping that she’ll come back, I cry until I choke on my own tears wondering why ‘d she had to go wondering if there was something I could say that would make her turn around. I was  begging for  a chance to fix things or at least shout ‘’don’t go’’ before she left the house, begging for help but no one ever helped me and I’ve never had another chance  and like that I fell asleep once again on the couch, waiting for someone that will never come back.


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