Twisted Insane

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
this is pretty much me, and my confusing feelings. If you do decide to read it, I garuntee you won't understand, so why bother?

Submitted: January 11, 2012

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Submitted: January 11, 2012

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Right now I'm stuck. I'm stuck in a deep whole surrounded by people I hate, and faces I despise. Why am I still stuck here? I want to get out because all I'm doing is rewinding, repeating and burrying myself deeper and deeper into hell. Change is what I need, But in what form shall I receive change? What does it look like, what am I looking for? what do I do? These are questions that lead to more questions, that are left unanswered.

I will my own life, so should I be able to change the things that inhabit it, but only for the better, not for the worse. I'm scared, because I'm so very deep I'm suffocating for air and soon I'm sure I'll die. It wont be a sweet, euphoric death, but a slow crude death full of pain hurt despair. When will these demons subside? I'm not sure if I want them to stay. My mind is sick and twisted and I need help. Don't want it, but I'm sure I need it. Back off I'm playing games here and I don't know what side I'm on anymore.

The cottage is quaint, I built it myself from the wood in the surrounding forest. I'm crafty. I make my own fires for breakfast lunch and dinner, maybe even brunch. I'm so independent and opinionated. I'm so delusional. The beach is beautiful, and seems private. I'm on  a private island where I'm alone, except for other creatures who don't speak. Who communicate in there private tongue that they keep me out of, and I'm glad. So very glad. My head is clear and alone, but its happy. I need no one else, because I'm so much happier that way. When my head spins and I loose my mind, I'm the only one whose there to witness it. I feel a presence creeping up behind me, and I see shadows in the daylight, Dark shadows, dark presence. I love them, I hate them, I want them to leave, I want them to stay. I've lost my mind. Where am I?

Because what is dark, calls my name, when its light, it shoo's me away. I cant hide here, I cant be safe. but I'm not scared, and I'm wide awake. Say something, say something, say something, say nothing. Don't speak please. Please. My wishing wont stop until its true. I'm unable to handle what you have to say, what others have to say. I keep to myself and want to keep it that way. Others are attracted to me, but I don't want them to be, but I do. Do you understand, Yes I understand. Who am I talking to but me. I'm a confused individual with no place to go. So I stay with myself, and go somewhere far into my mind. I'm there most of the time, "in my own world" but the difference is fact from fiction. Reality is fake and fantasy is real. What would You say?


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