Holding Onto Empty Words

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a short story about a very risky M-shift I almost had...

Submitted: December 04, 2013

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Submitted: December 04, 2013

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A long day has been and gone by, it's been great. The music in my ears is hard to hear over the roar of the motorbike engine beneath me, and I am perfectly happy. The wind roars around my helmet, tugging at my protective clothes and cross-cutting from the rider's helmet, buffeting my head and choking me with its screaming intensity. I don't really mind much, except that I can't breathe very easily.

My head is full of memories from earlier on today, the falcon in the car boot, young and training to hunt, the red kite that had been twisting and turning agains the stormy grey sky, wings outstretched in graceful flight. Forests and steep rocky outcrops flicker in my mind, and I am pleased at how the day has turned out.

The music is blasting a little too loud in my ears now, and we pull onto the motorway. The engine gets louder, and strangely, so does the music in my sensitive ears. The choking wind gets tougher, stronger, cutting off my air. My body is slammed back against the topbox and a passing lorry causes a gust of wind to hit me from the side.

Very suddenly, the helmet is too constricting, the music and engine combined are getting scary in my head, echoing and blasting away thoughts. Words are becoming slippery and losing meaning as I realise what is happening. Not now. Oh please not now. Even those words are becoming meaningless. The wolf instincts that were previously in the background as always are beginning to take over, the human habits and behaviours I've learned are being shoved aside as the shift begins to occur in earnest. It's going to be a bad one. On a motorbike. On the motorway.

No no no! I try to hold on to the words, try to supress the shift before I cause an accident, but the more I try the more empty the words get. No? What does no... Pictures. My mind is full of moving pictures- NO! Can't, not yet! With a tremendous effort I drag words back into my head, force myself to find meaning in them. Not now, Denami. Later, not now, not now! Holding on tight to the bars and gritting my teeth, I focus solely on keeping words in my mind, holding the words there in order to hold on to the limited humanity I have. Slowly, oh so slowly, the shift subsides. I still concentrate, knowing it will happen again if I stop focussing, and the motorbike continues onwards towards home.


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