Human Failures

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

Submitted: June 23, 2012

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Submitted: June 23, 2012

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Sears Hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."

(shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

 

Bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be how?....)

 

Swanson's frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

 

Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."

(well, duh! a bit late huh?)

 

Mark's and Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

(..and you thought?....)

 

Rowena iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me more time?)

 

Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds off those forklifts...)

 

Nytol Sleep Aid: "May cause drowsiness."

(and I'm taking this because?....)

 

Christmas Lights: "For Indoor and Outdoor use only."

(as opposed to what?...)

 

Japanese Food Processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

 

Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts."

(talk about newsflash.)

 

American Airline's packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(step 3: digest?)

 

Children's Superman Constume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company on this one. I blame the parents.)

 

Swedish Chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with your hand or genitals."

(Oh my.. was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


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