Minstrel Show

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
I felt very empty and hollow at the time, felt like a fool on display for the masses. That's normally how I feel when I allow someone a small opening into my innermost thoughts just to get betrayed. This is a result of that betrayal.

Submitted: July 22, 2008

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Submitted: July 22, 2008

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If I were to tell the tale of days past, the snow that fell
I cannot explain...gratify as I heaved.
This is merely the blood of old....days reflect the piano keys.
Hit the concrete, skin scrapes my knees.
As I pray for change, break the mask that covered my face.
I no longer want to feel that place.
 
Good Enough....I know I am, but your actions caused me to doubt.
I blame the one that stares, eyes the color of coal black.
Unarmed and unaccepting, the causer of my attacks.
False empty, False happy...time wasted.
As I pray for change, smash the mask that covered my face.
I no longer want to feel that place.
 
Projection, I gave my confidence to you. Pedastal High.
I fell. Lowered myself to the infantry. I'm better.
But I forget and in that instance I let...
You make me feel like I do not belong, will never get, just can't move on.
As I pray for change, melt the mask that covered my face.
I no longer want to feel that place.
 
Expectations of a sunlight, that you robbed instead of provided.
Anger seethes that should not linger.
Only because I still have not accepted. That out there, I will get what I deserve.
When I thought you were the decent...I was in for deception.
As I pray for change, throw the mask that covered my face.
I no longer want to feel that place.
 
Not your fault entirely. In a way, not at all.
I enabled the feeling.
Torque of my world, in your hands placed solely by me.
So I forgave, did not forget. And I'm sorry that I haven't completely let.
Go....the healthier choice for both. Despite what I believe.
As I pray for change, corrode the mask that covered my face.
I no longer want to feel that place.
 
Blame the inner, Stab my core.
I bear the hostility that I do not enjoy. Loneliness takes back over.
And I will find my voice again. From being the mute...
Not just for you, but each before.
As I pray for change, burn the mask that covered my face.
I no longer want to feel that place.
 
Broken wing of tomorrow's angel.
I cannot take back what's trangressed.
Change for good or bad....know not, this is my test.
Beaten path...I wander again, and again, and again.
Sick sad cycle I'm in...that I tend to cling.
On to that one thing, that has been my existence, that has always been consistent.
I let you change me. To this I bear witness.
This mask I wore before, to the world it kept me distant.
Broken from the core...I'm healing inside out.
The fool no longer, white paint off my face.
The mask, unhappy shielder of my pain.
Thank you for showing me what I'm better off without.
 
So I pray that the change will bring on the good.
Bring back my light for to the others, I have always been misunderstood.
I only have good intentions.
Trying to correct the failures of my predecessor's existence.
Second identity turned to facade.
Cover Girl perceived Mr. Man.
Track marks and wrists of crimson red prove that I am the great pretender.
Last contender showed the world that I was a fraud.
Actuate me, Cracks of the wicked I see within this face.
For I have habored for so long that it has all turned to hate.
Maybe this time, I will no longer feel the need to continue in this space.
Fuck it, I'm done.Break in two the mask....let the world see what you helped emaciate.
 
 
 


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