-!Gone!-

Reads: 458  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 9

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

..

I feel the fire rise inside,

I cant escape the burning feeling,

I look up at everything around me,

All the voices all combine together,

Getting louder and louder in my mind,

Now there screaming and I cant take it any longer..

As I fall over I feel my heart thumping rapidly,

My head hit the ground causing me to scream in pain,

My eye sight is fading like chalk on a side walk when it rains..

I can still hear all the voices in my head,

There screaming even louder now..

As I lay there listening to the screaming in my head,

My heart beat gets slower and slower,

And as I fade away,

I get one last glimpse of who's standing over me,

There he was,The one I loved all this time,

I was able to get some last words out,

And I said,

I Love you,in a soft whipser..

I watched his eyes fill with tears,

Then boom,one of his tears landed on my face,

And my life was gone...


Submitted: August 14, 2008

© Copyright 2021 SomeoneCrazy. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

nuttyz

Very touching...nice work I'd say!XD

Keep writing..and take care my friend!^_^

Thu, August 14th, 2008 7:07pm

Author
Reply

thanx!! :D

Thu, August 14th, 2008 2:52pm

poewhit

YIU KNOW - that poem has a something to it. That tear falling, very romantic

Thu, August 14th, 2008 7:17pm

Author
Reply

thanx very muchly !! :D

Thu, August 14th, 2008 2:52pm

Vampire Angel

This was SOOOOOO sad i loved it. Very well written.:)

Thu, August 14th, 2008 10:57pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so very much!!

Thu, August 14th, 2008 6:03pm

XxDeathXxKissxX

*sniff*
that is so sad [[i mean in the un-happy way]]
its absolutely amazingly beautiful.
"My eye sight is fading like chalk on a side walk when it rains.."
that is a brilliant line, i love it and i just LOVE the last part where the tear falls and your [[the 1st person in the poem]] life ends.
sad,beautiful and excellent work =]
keep 'em coming^^

Mon, August 18th, 2008 2:04pm

Author
Reply

thank you so much!!!

Mon, August 18th, 2008 1:46pm

SQUEEGEE

this is really good.

Tue, August 19th, 2008 2:08am

Author
Reply

thanx!! :)

Tue, August 19th, 2008 2:58pm

ReganFinch

Wow Someone :) This is so amazing and unique! It is sad but oh is it good. You have a great talent of using adjectives in such an original way. I'm going to look at your other stuff ;) Take care, Regan

Fri, August 22nd, 2008 2:14pm

Author
Reply

thank you very much!! :)

Fri, August 22nd, 2008 2:54pm

dreaming of you

sad yet beautiful , romantic yet heart rendering , a wonderful poem .

Tue, September 16th, 2008 7:15am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much!! glad ya liked it :)

Tue, September 16th, 2008 2:43pm

Teiani

i felt this personally as ive had this feeling and that xperience

Tue, December 15th, 2009 3:12am

Author
Reply

:( its a sad experience....

Wed, December 30th, 2009 7:38am

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