Does this count as Masturbaiting?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fan Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Neru like to sit on a breezy hill. Unless her zanpakuto, Teto, came out...

Submitted: December 25, 2011

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Submitted: December 25, 2011

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Neru was sitting on top of a pretty hill. Her zanpakuto sitting in the grass behind her. It was peaceful until Teto just had to come out.

"Neru," asked Teto scraching his head. "Why are you sitting their? Your boobs aren't gonna get bigger that way-"

Neru opened her eyes at the word "chest" and glared at him. Teto didn't even think about forgeting the subject about her chest, he just went on about her "unsexy" body and her manly looks. "I mean you're flat chested. If you actually had boobs you'd be sexy. But hey, if you did have boobies, you still look like you're in a yuri relationship. Since your hair is manly looking."

"What was that?" she glared at him. If looks could kill, Teto would've been dead a long time ago.

"I said, basically, you aren't sexy."

"But you said something about my breast?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And how their small. I seen flat chested girls before, and by fair, yours is the tiniest ones yet. Now that Tenth Squad Lieutenant had some big ones." he did an imitation of Matsumoto's breast falling out.

"This should count as Sexual Misconduct," muttered Neru.

"It is~," squelled Teto. "And I can get away with it since you never tell anyone~"

"I have a reason," snapped Neru. "They can't arrest zanpakuto."

"I just love that~"

"Can you go back into your sword for the rest of the day now?"

"No~ I am staying out until you go to that Mayuri guy and ask for him to make your boobs bigger!"

"Stop talking about my breasts already!" bellowed Neru covering her chest.

"Fine," smiled Teto. "Now I don't know what your vagaina looks like, but it might actually be cute~"

Neru tackled him. "Stop being a Perverted-Zanpakuto!"

She didn't realise her "flat chest" was in Teto's face.

Damn him....she thought glaring at Teto, who had wrapped his arms around her.

"Flat-Chest~" purred Teto into her chest.

Neru struggled for a bit to get out of his grip. This guy couldn't actually be part of her?

"Uh? ANY HELP OUT HERE?"

Teto nuzzled her chest.

"Uh Teto? I thought you liked big breasts?"

"I do~ But I just like you nipples~"

"WHAT?!" She began to kick at the black haired pervert zanpakuto. "LET GO NOW OR I'LL BLOW US UP!"

"I'll blow up with you~"

"HELP!" she screamed.

After a few moments she saw someone walking up the hill and with no hurry.

"Help!" she screamed to the man, which now that he'd gotten closer she saw he had blonde hair.

The blonde hair man tilted his head and began to run.

After the man gotten closer she saw the face; sad eyes, blonde hair which was parted into to at the back, and a long piece of hair covering his right eye. This man was Izuru Kira, or her Lieutenant.

"Kira!"

Teto was in the process of nuzzling her before he heard her shout "Kira!" and Kira meant '"killer", and that made him stop. After hearing "Kira" he looked behind him. "You're you? And how does Neru-chan know you?"

"Neru-chan?!" bellowed Neru.

"I am her Lieutenant," said Kira, calmly. "I think you know Wabisuke?"

"Yes I know Wabisuke," said Teto turning his head around like an owl. "But you didn't answer a question, that makes 50% of my questions done. So for the last 50%, what's your name Emo Boy?"

"Emo Boy? That isn't my name. Since you randomly took it out of the wind. My real name is Izuru Kira. Yours might be Teto?"

"Yes it is, Kira. Now that 100% of my questions are done, I'll let you ask some questions."

"So Teto, when did you began to do this to Akita-taichou?"

"Today."

"Oh great. Don't yout think your masturbaiting, since she's a part of you?"

"Not really, since she not a male."

"Did she ever tried to stops you exactly?"

"Neh...she'd normally yell at me to stop talking about her breast or vagaina. This time she kicked me in the nuts."

Neru's face became pure-red. "Don't talking about my body with my Lieutenant and your penis when I am around!"

"Did you know Teto you can be killed for doing this do your captain?"

"She told me they can't arrest zanpakuto."

"Only for somethings! Sexual Misconduct doesn't count! They count it as Matsurbating if you had raped me!"

"Whatever Neru-chan," said Teto with a yawn. "Make sure the next time I see you that you boobs are biggier." With that las pervy comment about Neru his disappeared into the zanpakuto.

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