My New Spiritual System: Being

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

The first part of my new spiritual system. This part is called "Being" and focuses of what it might mean to be true to oneself and describing different aspects of this problem. What tools I use to find the path to myself, feeling bliss and doing public service.

My New Spiritual System: Being
The greatest happiness one ever can experience is not something tangible in the physical world. It’s not about fame, money and a good relationship even though those can help. It’s rather about how one experiences one’s self. A deep and heartfelt appreciation of one’s true self. But it goes beyond a simple thought “I’m good enough”, “I’m successful”, “I love myself” or similar thoughts of the same kind. Being is rather a difficult matter. A matter of a long process of personal development to find inner depths beyond those superficial states experienced in waking consciousness.
I have been on the path to self-liberation for several years. In fact this search started in my teenager years when I left a closed off group of spiritual seekers to become an atheist and later a musician creating music in my private apartment. It was a search for something I barely could understand. I began with meditation exercise and found a new passion in reading spiritual masters that had done the same soul searching like me. But in the end it ended with a rejection of all teachings I had read as a young adult. Just because these teachings didn’t help me find the truth of myself and others. I had to find out the answers for myself.
This was the path of the will. I had just started to catch remote sensations from my higher self in meditation exercise but these sensations were few and far between. Actually I lost myself in meditation practise as I still hadn’t found out about the importance of self-discipline and other factors (But we will come to this in time). I went on the path of the will instead. I became a rebel. I started to listen to the whispers of my heart. And the old relationships I had were lost due to my new found consciousness. 
I had to seek out. I had to find out the truth for myself.
What I found was that the will led me to new revelations that I never could have guessed from my initial perspective. That the will led me to new travel experiences, writing projects and human encounters that would transform my entire world resulting in a total transfiguration of values. I started to look at myself, others and the world in the opposite way compared to how I looked at it before. It was a path of ego, hate and darkness. Ego to find pleasure of my own, hate to push my enemies aside and darkness to drown in a black and vivid illusion giving birth to the knowledge I always searched for.
It transformed the way I connected with others, changed my approach to art and led me to a deep held sense of inner wholeness. As if the will had revealed my real individuality existing beyond the surface mind. But this ego, hate and darkness was just one half of the picture. These characteristics were needed to build inner strength, individuality and knowledge to be able to experience the other part: The part of public service, kindness and unity described by many teachers on the same path. I could experience the timeless state of the enlightened teachers but now with a sense of wholeness I hadn’t experienced before. It was necessary to explore the dark to find the nature of the light. Balance was always the key to success. In this way ego was the path to individual liberation and public service a way to integrate the lower self with the higher self. It’s a great difference compared to how I viewed spirituality before. I didn’t believe self-realization was about personal happiness but rather about unselfish service for altruistic reasons. This was revealed as remnants from my past life living in a Christian community. The new values are a total negation of Christian values. This new form of public service is not about self-sacrifice but instead a way to inform chosen individuals of the things that helped me for greater satisfaction. A way to personal happiness, knowledge and power. But using this power not to control others but to liberate them along their own path.
Much more was revealed on the way. I found greater depths of bliss on new journeys around the globe. In Berlin, South Africa and Sweden I found the way to death. Meaning the complete annihilation of all reality constructs and values I had accumulated within myself. Destroying my concepts of ego, hate and darkness (even power) to arrive at an unconditioned state. Leading to greater bliss and higher personal satisfaction. It’s a long journey describing a dark descent and a bright ascension due to experiences and transformations I had on my way. I had to invert values to find I hadn’t grasped spirituality fully at depth. And later giving them all up for a completely unconditioned state. In this new consciousness all truisms and artificial values are pushed aside and something new arises from this clean mind. This is the old values but connecting to a deeper level in the human heart. This was self-discovery and realization. I later found out that many great philosophers, esotericists and spiritual masters talked about the same state, the same path and the same conclusions. But I had no personal experience before and couldn’t understand these teachings at depth.
What I have discovered is that the unconditioned mind is no fixed state of universality shared by all humans. To clear one’s mind is just to discover what one actually is beyond the surface mind. It can be anything. When I meditated in my younger years I just found the inner light of the Christians. After my countless travels and inversion of values I found the same state of consciousness described by esoteric teachings. Leading to fulfillment.
Pretty recently I have made a gothic rock epic “A Dark Entrance” describing the death of old truisms and values. Written in this lucid state of mind. It can be downloaded here:
I have also written a science-fiction novel “Alien Forever” describing the transfiguration of values but also giving the emotional connection to what I saw and felt. Liberating emotions. It’s my masterpiece (according to myself) and can be bought from my author homepage at this URL:
This was the nature of my path but I encountered countless more realizations and obstacles on the way. This will now be fully explained.
The Nature of the Will
Much people I know view the will as something natural and shared by all humans. And they share the same kind of common sense understanding of the matter. Everyone knows of the will and make use of it but they rarely trusts it in critical situations. Instead they use their intellectual faculties to decide their own future. In my late teens and younger adult years I turned this around by endless thinking and analysis. I found out that the will is the primary mover, the one force being able to balance the different aspects of the self to a coherent whole. With the loss of will comes loss of identity and true life purpose. This goes beyond the reality of the physical world into past lives and one’s true purpose. With a philosophy to merge with the will comes individual liberation and happiness but it’s a long process needing great care and time.
It’s easy to say one makes use of the will but what actually happens is that the driving force of the will is the absolute opposite to what the intellect perceives as valid. The intellect is conditioned by past life experience, the school, the church, the media and so on. One can therefore seldom trust the will in critical situations. Situations where the will really matters. At one point I went completely irrational as I saw the advantages of the surrender to the will. The intellect couldn’t grasp my new found consciousness. And every day was a sense of discovery. A revelation. I often had a feeling of having experienced the same kind of people, places and circumstances before. As if the will had made old memories become manifest due to my surrender. I discovered the truth of the will. It’s just an irrational force. A force wanting sex and domination and having an urge to destroy all human concepts and reason. It is revealing subjective truth, truth about previous existence, not anything objective. But still being wise because of past existence. A clean will has therefore to be acknowledged by a working intellect. And this intellect must conform to the will so one can sense a full integration. It’s the will of the heart that drives one to purpose and enlightenment but it’s the intellect that is the tool to make one’s purpose become fully realized. 
One has to combine the two.
Meditation is a complex matter. But it’s also essential. Finding the way to true self (Being as I call it) is necessary to experience spiritual freedom. Joy and happiness. Meditation can range from walking exercises, breathing exercises to repeating of mantras and much more of the same kind. What I found out myself is that I initially had the opposite approach to meditation towards what it became in the end. This could also be true for others. Meditation to me is nowadays about great concentration and structure. To clean the mind from endless chatter and false emotion. It’s a complex science. A science of how to still the mind to find the way to the self within. 
At first I was seeking immediate satisfaction. I was not evaluating my meditation experience. I saw meditation as an end in itself. I sought blissful states and was using breathing exercises to awake occult powers I couldn’t understand. An awareness of the negative side of meditation is essential. One can easily lose grasp of one’s true nature to disappear in a bright illusion leading to mental disorders.
The problem is actually love. That one is losing oneself so completely in a transforming experience that one loses the ego. That is ego death and not a balanced act. 
If one meditates as I do nowadays one sits down in a quiet corner, breathes a couple of breaths and starts to count numbers from one to six hundred. One is fully concentrating on the task at hand so the thoughts and emotions of the conditioned mind starts to move and later fade away. It’s a long process taking great time and effort. Walking exercises combined with counting has been most effective to me. It’s important to find the way back to the body, to the counting, to still the mind from unwanted activity. Never to fade away in a bright illusion giving a sense of pleasure. Never doing the opposite either. Never expecting overwhelming results. One has to free the mind from concepts of liberation and just walk or count. Finding the way to concentration. 
The importance of the body is one factor one must remember. Because meditation tends to get too mental and one can lose contact with one’s true self. The ego primarily. Therefore I have discovered that physical exercise, sex, breathing exercises and other physical forms of awareness makes one reconnect with the body giving room for the self. Meditation should be a science and natural process that one learns by oneself. When one watches the mind, evaluates past meditation practise and finds a method that works for oneself. Going slow and step by step. Taking time and great concentration. Watching closely what happens in the body and the mind. Evaluating over longer periods of time. And also using the new found freedom to never lose oneself in a clean state. That state is just the lack of thoughts and emotions. Ending suffering but not being anything in itself.
Just an unconditioned state.
Personal Discovery
There is a philosophy among many philosophers (Stoics especially) that one shall be content with what actually is and never try to change it. I have discovered that there is a great truth to this but also otherwise. To try to become something, change something, is the hardest thing in life. To let go of these ambitions and instead adopt a philosophy of contentment have help me to great extent. In that sense what have helped is negating the thought “I am not content” and watch contentment arise from that pure state of mind.
On the other hand there is also a truth to the other way of seeing things. That one can actually become something, amount to something, even to others. It’s a fine line. To me it has to do with the will. Sometimes one should stop the seeking and have a good rest, at other times one will only suffer from more rest. Too much of the one or the other results in suffering.
I have many passions but my primary passion in life has always been (And to great extent still is) self-discovery. Self-discovery in my sense is quite different from the unconditioned state gained from meditation practise. It’s a process of continuous self-realization and actualization. A spiral movement of self-discoveries, resulting in new actions and still more discoveries. It’s a feedback process of thought, action and emotion. 
But how shall one go about discovering oneself?
I have found out that the worst thing one actually can do is sitting silently in one corner of a room and think about oneself. One will only find random mind processes and vague conclusions lacking real evidence. The best thing for me have been to set up a goal for a travel journey. Visit the places, people and cultures that are in tune to what I actually want to experience. Go there, experience it and think about the actual experiences. Not just the actual experiences but what one actually saw and felt. 
When one are in tune with the will one will see what one’s destiny will reveal. One might understand it when one passes one’s comfort zone and actually go out there and catch these experiences. One might meet new people, experience new things and think about one’s experiences. Perhaps to find out that one were the opposite to what one thought one were in the beginning. 
Sitting in the comfort of one’s own sofa.
Being In the Now
I think death is my primary contribution. Death to the wrong values, death to reality concepts and the irrational force of human behaviour. Still I always was the one longing for an authentic life. The one thing which have helped me most and balanced the different aspects of my life is the pure unconscious. Removing the blocks to the will. Watching a nihilistic descent into nothingness and then watching life emerge from this cloud of unknowing. 
What is required though is to combine this unconditioned state with self-knowledge. As what one finds in the depths of the unconscious is the knowledge previously attained. One must learn in order to unlearn. 
Kill the gods, kill the conventions, the habits, wishes and hopes. Even abandon love and intimate passions. Friends and also enemies.
To find oneself is to discover what one actually is beyond shallow self-concepts. And true happiness is to discover these dark threads in the unconscious. Being. The information network coming from the pure unconscious leading you to your unique destiny. You might come to recognize what you actually are beyond the sense experience of the body. Even recognizing this information when you look yourself in the mirror.
That divergence is the path to unity and that darkness is the way to the light.
Beyond human comprehension.
Notes to my readers: Feel free to comment, like and share this post to others. As feedback is necessary to connect with readers and others can use this information in turn.
Take care!

Submitted: November 28, 2016

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Peter Piper

Surely "self" is an illusion! summed up by the 28th verse; With them the seed of wisdom did I sow
And with my own hand labour'd it to grow;
And this is all the harvest that I reaped
I came like water and like wind I go!

Fri, December 2nd, 2016 2:24pm

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