Stained Glass

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a poem about loving a closeted girl, and the way we try to reconcile our religious beliefs with who we are.

Submitted: August 10, 2015

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Submitted: August 10, 2015

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My girl preaches Sunday love
and Saturday evenings
against my lips. To the weekdays,
her gospel is hotboys and manlymen,
verses so sweet,
her mother lets us share the bed
under the skylight
in the attic bedroom.
 
 
Some nights, we are whispersecrets
and non-lovers.
We are twisted sheets and too-close
not-touching,
we are giggles so hushed
that the quiet would strain to listen.
The darkness bathes our naked skin
and she whispers into my ear,
 
 
"Know that I will never love you.
Not in the way that you kiss my eyelids
and sing the drunken stars to sleep
above my head.
Not in the way you carry my heavy limbs
into the morning
on the backs of your dreams."
 
 
And I don't even care,
because she looks lovely in the moonlight, because the crickets
and the dust bunnies 
are the only ones collecting our confessions
like rent money
or tithe.
I murmur against her chest, 
 
 
"Your hips are the only ones I've measured with my breaths.
I don't give a damn about your ribs
and their crusades,
I'm not waging war,
I'm not gathering our apostasies 
into the dips of your body-
 
 
I'm here for your heart
and your tongue. Who cares
if you are brimming with Old Testament vows
and holy water? To me,
your arms are Bethlehem, and I swear to God
He'll remember our love."
 
 
Most nights, this is enough 
for her to sleep soundly. 
 
 
But when she dreams about Hell, 
I don't wake her up. 
I don't know how.
I lay beside her on the mattress
and stain my cheeks like glass
in cathedral windowpanes,
pray to God he'll paint us
into something holy.
 
 


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