Stream of Consciousness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
My first attempt at stream of consciousness writing.

August 2007

Submitted: February 17, 2009

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Submitted: February 17, 2009

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There's nothing I can do to comprehend this battle between the heart vs. the head and I can't wrap my head around this bed that I've laid in so many times with you and you and your friend had laid together too. And I can't seem to control this ego-crushing roll of my mind telling me that I'm never good enough. And I can't tell myself that this green won't envelop me until I suffocate and asphyxiate and roll over in my grave and this day is yet another day away from being the end and there's no way I can pretend that I'm okay. And every single time the tales unwind in front of my eyes I cry and cry and try not to confide in you because it's embarassing. It's embarassing to want to be the only one for you and I know that it's hard for you and me too. And I can't I can't I can't keep on keeping on the way that you tell me that I need to, the way that I tell me that I need to. The way that I really want to but it's hard. And the breath I take in is nothing more than sin after sin and I don't want to begin what's already begun. There's tension and friction and everything in the air and it never dissipates and leaves me in despair for I know not what to do with all these hateful things that I feel for you and I want to stop. And thank you and hate you and rape you mentally so you can't think of me anymore and bury me in your unconscious like I wish I could do so all I have left are vague dreams of you and what you've done to me.


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