Scene opens with a frantic elderly woman rushing down a busy street clutching a bouquet of flowers and cruise brochure bumping into passing pedestrians without any apology ..Her crazy old bag lady coat concealing the most beautiful home made dark velvet prom dress ever seen.
The sound of her heels clicking on the pavement as she rushed to her car , panicking she looks for the keys to open the car , her eyes scanning it like an eagle for it's prey...."Where are they these blanking ke..."...She takes a deep breath and tips the contents of the bag onto the hood of the vehicle , below the countless used tissues lay her keys.
Scraping whatever she could in one felt swoop she refilled her bag with the pointless objects and made way to the driver's door....Driving maniacally down a one way road in the opposite way with other drivers swerving to miss a head on collision she grasped the steering wheel with her boney talons shouting boarderline racist remarks and watched the speedometer reach an all time 22mph.
After making it pass the heavy one way traffic she see's the dim lights flickering from her home in the distance "Nearly home" she muttered with her pencil thin lips.. Pulling up outside her badly kept home she waste no time in parking and bolts from the moving vehicle unhurt while her car rolls past her taking out a mail box and the neighbors cat , finally coming to a rest when hitting the barn.
Kicking open her front door to hear the startled cries of her mother she reacts with a scream "Where Is It , Where Is It , I know you have Hidden it?".. The Mother aged in her late 90's was laying on the couch wrapped with a soft non pee smelling mink throw...."Tell me where it is?" she screeches at her Mother again.....The fragile old lady huffs on her oxygen tank barely able to string a sentence together from the fright...Her index finger is raised pointing towards the basement door.
Darting down the darkly lite hall the 6ft tall bordering on anorexia hunch backed lady lunges at the door , Her hand rubbing hysterically against the wall looking for the light switch she suddenly feels something crawl across it onto her tear stained coat and up the sleeve towards her long matted unbrushed blonde curly hair ..On instinct her arms start flailing as if she were on fire " It's in my hair ..It's in my hair" she shrieks, In the distance her Mom is shouting "Whats happening are you okay I heard screaming?"
Below the basement door there lay Ten steps , whilst unraveling her coat to rid herself of the Spider it's contents falling down the steps like raindrops from the sky, her discolored finger nails rooting through her blonde hair she feels for the innocent Arachnid...Catching it in the palm of her liver spotted hand she throws it onto a step , hoisting her knee up towards her chest she feels her drooping breast rock side-to-side under her bra less prom dress with all her might she slams her 2inch heeled boot down upon it , hearing the crack of its existence disappear.... "HA" she says out loud.
Gathering her hair into place after being confused from yet another unprovoked Spider attack the woman see's the object she desired placed nicely in the middle of the dark/cold basement floor "It's not too late" she thought ...Taking each step slowly she was nearing the floor with each step she could feel the contents from her coat crumble in her persuit "Oh no my choker" she said as she stepped on her handmade one of a kind beaded choker , Lifting her foot and contriving the memories that might have been she let out a sigh of Sorrow, Taking another step and rubbing the tattered remains of her beloved choker against her blured teared eyes she is unaware of the Empty MIO bottle in her path , Stepping upon the tightened lid bottle she spun around snapping her ankle in the process and fell towards the basements hard floor with a crash that sounded like a bag of twigs hitting its hard surface leaving her body motionless.
Waking up after her near death experience she hears the faint sound of her Mother "Did you fall again, you know we lock that basement door for your own good don't you?" ....."After what we found out last time what you were getting up to down there" .....The mother now at the basement door looking down at her paralyzed daughter and *tuts*..."Well you can sleep down there tonight ,it's the only way you will learn J"
The pain of her ankle shooting up and down her body she cant talk only whimper , glancing around she see's the laptop that caused all this..."Oh and by the way i had the internet cut off , im tired of getting phone calls from Hungarian men called Zoltan seeking fornication for shelter at 4am in the morning" Mom said...Closing the door to the basement the light reducing itself to just the crack under the door...Beyond the door she hears mother say "Watch out for the spiders they breed like fuckers in this weather"
Hearing ruffles from ever corner of the dark room she feels legs of every kind crawl over her skin, unable to move she just screams "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"... Mom sits down upon the mink once again and clutching the TV remote she puts it to her favorite show, turning the volume up to drown out the horrific screams of her daughter she taps her feet to the American Idol theme tune...
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Script / Memoir
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