Selfish (someday....maybe)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
This poem addreses the conversation me and my friends/family have often had about why I don't want kids

Submitted: June 04, 2008

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Submitted: June 04, 2008

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kids maybe thats what they all say
i say no never
it'll take a miracle
they say sure ok alright
your young you may change your mind someday
i say u keep for someday
I'm here in the here and now and i say no way
my heart won't let me
my mind says i don't have the patience
even if i did it would be selfish
cause i have nothing
lost everything
and gave the rest away
I'm to grown to ignore the truth
and to young to pretend that I'm mature enough for that level
of responsibility
my body's grown
my minds maturing
everything else just hasn't got there yet
Like my finances, home, and transportation situation
and anyway it takes two to create one
strugglin by yourself is hard enough
and i have nothing
which makes it hard enough to take care of me
so why add to the equation when i can't feed me
feeding her or him would be hard or damn near impossible to do in my
situationy
so why even try it my sanity is already dwindling by a thread so why give it away
like i said before it takes 2 to create 1 and im single
number 2 hasn't arrived yet
and he's no closer to it unless you or God knows something I don't
in which case i wish one of u would reveal it to me cause I talked to God this morning and he
mentioned nothing
But man seems to know "everything" anyway  or so they claim
so that just leaves you
let me know when he's on his way and i'll try to be prepared
cause a good man is hard to find
and for me to bare his seed he's got to be more than good
he's got to be almost perfect
i know that sounds like i'm high maintenance but i'm not
thing is i've seen so many failed relationships that include and don't include children
i just don't want that to be me
i just want as close to a golden seal gurantee of approval as i'm gonna get
in all honesty i'm not perfect
 
and i make mistakes
but where my heart and future are concerned i'm a cautious as the next if not more
thats why when you say kids someday you wiill, or for real r u serious u don't want any ever
i say no never
it'll take a miracle
or someone almost perfect
which is like asking for a miracle
 
somethimes when im alone
i think to myself hope their right and i'm wrong
maybe someday will come soon and never will be shortened by a closer tomorrow
I'll stop waiting for a miracle , my finances , home and transportation situation will get better
until then never seems more realistic than someday
someday may never come in a form of a child
with that i'll be ok
cause i don't want to be selfish to prove u right and me wrong
besides it takes two to create one
and he hasn't arrived yet
since u kn ow so much lets do this
u  keep saying ok sure your young you'll change your mind
i'll still say no never it'll take a miracle
cause all i know is this
I talked to God this morning and he mentioned nothing
so until he speaks I'll just keep listening.....


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