I'd envy you, if it would kill me.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

A memory of lost friendship.

Submitted: February 24, 2018

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Submitted: February 24, 2018



I wish to give to you one scar, bruise or broken bone for every tear I ever cried for you, or because of you. Every minute I lived wishing to die because of something you said, even worse, something you couldn't bring yourself to say. When you spoke your evil tongue and whispered thoughts I'd long kept to myself until I shared them to with you, you took from me a part of life I wished to live happily, now instead I weep silently at night when my the ones I love the most sleep because god forbid I hurt them enough to cause them to do to me what you have done. 

The nights are bad again now that we've parted its hard to tell the difference between my emotions and which are ones I enjoy to partner with and others I can't wait to divorce. The days are filled with the pleasure of seeking night, so I can cry and hold hope that soon I may die. I hate how much control you hold over me even though you're no longer apart of my life. When you left, you took apart of mine. 

And I'm home alone whilst I write this so god knows the script I just hope I'm not the right person for the part. I just seek comfort in finding some pain that ironically may help to mend my broken heart. 

For years I rested my head on your shoulder, I should have figured when you turned cold you could only of course, turn coulder. 

And people call me stupid for missing you, I just have to deal with the fact that nowadays everything's to good to be true. 

I know you'll read this post, and you'll mock my pain because your good at hiding yours by causing others theirs. 

And I wish to tell you one last time that if I die tonight i sincerely pray you begin to feel no guilt now because everyday I lived you caused me to wished I just die. 

I wish you nothing but pure happiness and fulfilment in your life because I know it's missing because you sought happiness in taking mine. 

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