Just me and my love

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A letter to the one I love.

Submitted: March 28, 2014

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Submitted: March 28, 2014

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It used to be just me and you. Maybe, it was my illusion. Maybe, it was my dream. What a sweet dream it was, too hard to wake up from, too beautiful to believe it was real. I refuse to believe it. I refuse to believe that we happened. It wasn't something more than my mind playing games with me. It was just me and my love. Unconditional and suddenly. Yet, it was my love who destroyed me.
 Not you.
That moment lingers on my mind every single second that I breathe. You put your arms around me and it felt like you were never going to let go. I was under your shield, nothing could possibly break me. You said that you want to listen to the part of you who wants to hold onto me. You looked into my eyes full of something innocent, I'd never seen anyone stare into my eyes like this. I fell deeper in love with you, with everything I was. I realised that this moment felt more special than any other moment I'd ever lived with anybody. Any other male in this whole planet. It was full of simplicity, taking my breath away, making me feel as if I was strong enough to climb the highest mountains. But soon enough, I fell from that high point. And I slammed my body straight to the ground. And it ripped all my soul, all my dreams with you, it was like a flame burned throughout my whole body. This was the first time I burned like this. This was the first time I fell this harsh, leaving my body in scars.
 You told me, maybe we should be friend's. Friend's? You're my friend already. You're the one I love. You're the one I could open up to, with all my imperfections. You're the one I laugh with, and cry with. You're my hope. I believe in you. Your pain is my pain. Your struggle is my war. You and me is the same. You're what my dreams are made of, You're what my world needs to be more beautiful than ever. Not knowing what to say, and completely in loss of words... I said I couldn't. How could I just be friend's with you? How could I hide the fact that I love you, more than a friend can love their friend. Then you spoke, and the words that you spoke, is what you spoke to my heart. My heart crashed into the invisible walls between us. These were the walls you had created inside of your head. I knew nothing then, was what we had true? Or was it all a lie. Was it something all in my head? \"You love me too much, you can't live without me, can you?\" What was he trying to say? Was this a polite way of him asking me to leave? You can never love less or too much. If you're in love, you are. There's no middle point. For me, there wasn't. And there still isn't.
Do you even know the slightest bit about my past? You don't know how I tried to love somebody. Because, loving somebody is hard. You don't fall in love easily. I can't. But with you, I fell in love. I don't know how. Was it that precious look in your eyes I could watch all day long? Was it your voice that was my favourite sound in the world? Was it your gentle yet mesmerizing touch? Was it the way you kiss me, as if you never want to leave me without your kiss. Yet you did. But that's fine with me, because even though I miss everything that came with you, I'm waiting to where life will lead me.
I'm not waiting for you. I feel as if you'll never want me in your life again. It'll be pointless waiting for something that is impossible. Maybe I was just somebody that played a little role in your life. But you, you played a big role. And you always will. I won't get to speak to you. Nor look in your perfectly shaped eyes. Touch you like before. Go near you. But I left with my pride, and my love. I will keep it in my heart forever. I will hide it in it's deepest corner's. Maybe I will love again, and again, and over again. But I will never tell anyone about you. Of how I loved you. Of everything we shared together.
I'm  leaving now, I'm leaving your life. Just as you wanted. I'm content, and I'm smiling. Because, I'll carry your memories with me.


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