Things done in the dark ; Always brought into light

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

"We can never truly escape what lies inside"

My mother always told me

"Things done in the dark will always be brought into the light"

I think of it now and laugh, remembering all I've done to harm in the light of only the night stars

Things she will never know, I think she purposely turned a blind eye

Maybe it was too much for her to handle?

Seeing what her daughter was going through, and simply not being there

I guess it's what was easier for her, maybe it was for me too

Because while she slept soundly in her room, I stood in front of the bathroom mirror

Cursing my own name, showing myself every wrong in my mind

While she spent stuck on a meaningless man

I spent hours buried into my bed, grasping what was left of myself

I remember months in the autumn when I hit my low

What it felt like to have no one but a few, and even those few did not fully capture me

I was so scared, I tried to speak but my words were always shot down

No one ever listened

No one ever cared enough to hear

The winter got worse, I wanted life to no longer exist

I wanted to stop the cycle of pain, self destruction, it was all too much for me

Scarring my skin and killing my stomach with numbing pills

I was a walking travesty, no one ever seemed to see

Even those closest to me, I hid it from them well

Too well, because when I hit my lowest in July, it was all a dramatic scene to them

It made no sense, and I was left to crumble on my own

Too scared to speak to a lover, to hidden to speak to a friend

I was so close to disappearing, without a trace

Here I am now, mid August

Writing about thoughts and emotions, hitting me again in the midst of the night

I know I will be okay in the morning, but for now I feel like I am slowly spiraling down again

Awful thoughts are returning

Tear stained cheeks

I wish things wouldn't hit me so hard, so fast

I will wrap myself in blankets, drown myself in the saddest music, and think of him

The only reason I have left to be strong

While my mother continues to turn her blind eye

I will continue to struggle

Growing stronger with each dark night in which I make it through

Light will come, with much patience
 


Submitted: August 14, 2015

© Copyright 2022 StarsLikeSkies. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Zequoia Rose

All I can say is wow. I love this. The emotion you put into it is beautiful. I hope everybody will realize that one day - as you said - Light WILL come.

Sat, August 15th, 2015 5:02am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, all we can do is hope that everyone will realize, light will come with much patience.

Fri, August 14th, 2015 11:29pm

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