why should I end it

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
a young girl got a crush on a guy who is 10 years elder to her. she is so a tom girl where the guy is very reserved types. will she succeed trying to impress him?

Submitted: June 29, 2014

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Submitted: June 29, 2014

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Why Should I End IT

seethu-me

chiru- my crush

doc-gym owner

rachna and ankitha- my friends

Like every other girl my first hero was my dad. Being a single child I was pampered all the time. Dad was my world. I never felt that I don’t have any siblings’ coz of his love and coolness. I never wanted any special person in life when my dad is around me. He is the reason why I’m tom girl, he is the one behind my crazy style of living. Right from my school days till my college I used to be unique among other girls. I had that different attitude and guts to do anything for what I want. Few guys used to get scared of me where few others were mad about me. Many proposals, love letters, dating proposals……but wait….I’m against the concept of dating. Date, pass time, breakup and start the fresh date…what nonsense…I’m the one who believes in “one life one love”. And when I’ve got such a lovely father and awesome friends and cousins why do I even need some external love with the name called dating??? For me my dad is everything in life. And I never wanted to get engaged in dating till the day I met chiru.

Yep I never believed when my friends used to lecture me about feelings and stuff. But the day I saw him I was flying in the seventh world of my senses. A strange feeling which urged me to know about him, enquire about him, follow and trace him. I don’t know anything about that guy when I saw him for the first time at KFC in forum. I was out with friends for a casual lunch at McDonalds. That’s when Ankitha started poking me to tell what kind of guy I wanted. And I was explaining her about the 6 feet, Telugaite with those dynamic manly looks and I just showed the guy who was walking in front of us wearing a red shirt with a brown dsp hat as an example. He walked in to KFC. I wanted to go for McDonalds but Anki dragged me to KFC. We are standing right behind the guy whom I showed her as an example. Anki asked me y not to try over him. I just chucked it saying he won’t be a Telugaite. There he turns back and asks his friend “nekem  kavli”. First I just heard his voice and then I saw his face. The fact that he was a Telugaite impressed me like hell more over he is 6 feet and yep of course he was looking manly. I was just so involved staring at him that I didn’t get to know he is done with placing his order and the counter guy asked me thrice to place my order. I took my order and went to the table where anki was waiting. She is gulping her food and I’m madly searching for him. I didn’t get to see him. I went to the counter and asked if they can check the person’s detail that placed the order just before me. But they weren’t ready to share details. I don’t want to use my attitude and influence over there. I turned back thinking that he is just a passing cloud!!!!!!

I joined gym out of curiosity. First two days it was too boring. But how do I even express my feeling that the third day was exciting when I saw that same 6 feet Telugaite in the gym. I’m I dreaming?? I want to go pinch him but how will I do that? He doesn’t know me. So I pinched myself and confirmed that he is the one in front of my eyes. Yes he is my gym mate. In fact he is an old client to that gym and I’m the new one. Very soon I went and checked his name in the register. He is Chiru. What else do I need to confirm that he is a Telugaite? Slowly I got to know about him through doc and rachna. Doc confirmed me that he is single. I used to observe him every day he is very reserved and decent types. Even rachna told me the same thing that he is reserved to peaks. It took me a month for finding a way to talk to him. And that conversation didn’t even last for a minute. I used to text him using parties as a sole cause. Never got a reply. And the day he replied was fools day.

I got break from gym coz I got injured. I didn’t see him for a month. It was the time I was trying to come over him. There enters doc with his text. Doc told me that chiru is missing you y aren’t you coming to gym. What else can stop me from joining gym after seeing that text? I was all excited to see chiru after a month. I entered gym and soon after signing in I turned back and he was standing right behind me. I said hi for which he replied with hi. Nothing more than that happened. Next day doc tried to make us both talk to each other. That’s when we started talking. He asked me the reason behind missing gym these days. Next day doc asked me about weekend end plans where we decided to go out on party together. Yep chiru was ready to come with me and I was all excited about it.

Life took a new curve that day. I had no much expectations that this Mr.Shy will talk to me in the party. But he was totally opposite to what I thought. He was so cool over there. He grabbed a beer and sat right next to me . he was sitting so close that I can feel his breath and strangely I started sweating. We spoke about things happening in life. Though we didn’t pass any hints, we just made clear to each other that we are single and ready to mingle if a perfect person is found. I’m not sure whether he is that perfect person or not but I do accept the fact that I got a big fat crush on this guy that evening. He didn’t tell me that I look sexy neither he flirted with me like many other guys. But he was so humble to accept that he doesn’t know to dance and he was so sweet to compliment my dance. After the party we had a long long conversation on whatsapp. We were texting till 4am. Next day being Sunday didn’t affect our sleep. Doc is trying hard to put a seed in chiru’s mind, which is not all that easy. But still doc is too smart. He once suddenly made me sit behind chiru on his bike for some stupid reason that chiru can’t bear the weight of a protein box alone. He just did his weights with 80kgs and he can’t lift 5kgs box huh?? But still I wanted to go with him. I was just wondering what all ideas doc get man!!!

I thought I should give chiru a chance to miss me. And it worked. He sent me a text asking what happened to me I didn’t text from the last day. Hiding my excitement I started replying him casually. We used to chat all the night and wake up late for office the next morning. And still do the same thing the next day. Life was going so happy with doc’s help and ideas. Doc planned a TRIP. Trekking. For sake of reason it was a fitness trip .But doc solely planned trip for me and chiru. We went on trip had lots of fun but nothing personal. But one thing pissed me of was the call he got from his dad. Chiru’s dad was urging him to get married and on that reason he wanted chiru to go Hyderabad to see girl. I was upset with the fact that he is going to see the girl and some where little happy that he is not interested in that girl. I wanted to ask him out on a date. Yep I was ready for a date with him. I know I’m against the concept of dating. But I somewhere feel that I won’t regret if I date him coz he might be the one whom I won’t need to break up with but can share my life. I dint know what was my confidence about. But yep I want to go out with him, know about him, shortly I just want to get into his life and get him in to mine. And I won’t make scenes if time doesn’t permit us to share life. I’ll be fine if it ends with a break up coz it won’t be on a silly reason for sure. But will he ask me out???

He went home I was so tensed that day that I didn’t feel so tensed even during my boards. Finally I got good news that it didn’t work out with that girl!!! But there was some strange change in his behaviour after he returned from hyd. He didn’t reply for my texts, no long conversations, no much eye contact. I felt he is kind of avoiding me. I got to know the reason from doc. His dad is emotionally blackmailing him to get married. And this poor guy is confused between me and his dad. He is thinking that he will have to wait for another two years to get me into his life which won’t work with his dad and family, and he is also worried about the age difference we got. 6 months passed like no time. It was wonder full time. Little bit of ignorance, ego but also a great love which was playing hide and seek between our hearts. I used to wait for Saturday mornings to enjoy that lovely ride with him. I used to make sure that I won’t go fall over him when he attacks the break. But yep those 20 mins I used feel like I’m flying in air. Never knew what was running in his mind but one thing was very clear that even he used to wait for Saturday mornings. Coz no idiot will just wake up like that in the early hours of Saturday just for badminton.

I thought it’s high time to decide our relationship. I had no hopes that he will take a step. Doc tried convincing him in every possible way but failed. Neither have I felt it’s good. Coz convincing just leads to compromise but not love and life. We went to TAJ on my birthday. These days he has become more silent. Just one word answers to my text. No much conversation at gym. It was like heights of avoiding. I thought of asking him his opinion about me on my birthday party. But latter I felt it’s foolish to do so coz party is meant to enjoy and I don’t want to spoil people’s mood with this issue. So we did enjoy the party. I texted him that night for which I didn’t get any reply.

 I gave him a text the next day for which I got reply after 3 to 4 hours. I was still happy that he replied. But is that seriously something I should feel happy about? On my side I was very honest to him, my brother, sister my close friends knows about him where none of his people knew me. Ok I understand he is kind of introvert and so I respect his privacy. But why doesn’t he open up to me at least. I waited for a week no change. I tried explaining him through whatsapp DP which was of no use. I was tired. I use to get burst out. Cry like a mad girl for some reason which was killing me inside. I never said yes to any of the guys who approached me. And when I liked someone he is giving a test to my honesty and patience. I stepped in to his shoes and started to think y he is not responding to me when I’m so sincere. Yes I got his point. It’s not so easy to convince my dad regarding his age factor, nether he can post pone his marriage to 3 years and what if I turn off after 3 years?? All extreme questions. It’s hard to give a sure answer to any of those questions. And so I decided to end my thought of asking him out on a date. Coz it won’t go till marriage bcoz it can’t even reach the stage of love.  And for me a dating with the goal of break up is just waste of time and something useless.

But wait!!! I’m I not over assuming things???  We both never discussed things personally. It’s all me assuming the situations and moving on. And now finally with my own assumption I’m I deciding to end this relation without knowing his opinion??? When I’m clear that he had or he still have some feelings for me why the hell should I end it????


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