Excessive Experience

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
I never thought that stopping for gas would be an enlightening experience, but here we have it. The laughable adventure that led me to the realization that I was, and the acceptance of, living the life of "The Ridiculoustons".

Submitted: February 18, 2014

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Submitted: February 18, 2014

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~~Excessive Experience

I have always wished I was disciplined enough to keep a weekly blog. I feel like I never have anything to write about. Who wants to read another blog about someone’s daily life experiences? Ah-ha…experiences…that’s the key word. I don’t have many experiences. I chill out safe at home and do my homework, or I’m at work, or I am just plain being lazy. I had an experience today that made me realize why I need to have experiences, just not in the way I’ve always thought.

Today was a pretty regular day. We went through our normal routine before my wife, Rachel, had to be at work. All morning I kept reminding myself to remember my wallet so I could fill the gas tank. Not long before it was time to leave, Rachel asked me if we could leave ten minutes early so she could stop at another store. This is where I stop to tell you that my short term memory sucks. As soon as I heard the words “ten minutes early”, my short term memory focused on something new. I better start the car now so it will warm up.

Ten minutes later we were on our way. The store Rachel needed to stop at was at the opposite end of the strip mall where Rachel works. We went in, got we needed, and came back out. When we arrived on the other end where Rachel needed to be, my gas tank warning light was lit up. I say, “Oh, shit! I gotta go get gas!” Rachel hops out and I hope for green lights all the way. Fat chance! I get every red light! I finally pull up to the pump, at this point, no doubt, on fumes. I reach for my… No. Fucking. Way. That’s right folks! I forgot my wallet! FUCK! MY! LIFE!

I was irate! I have very few friends. They have very busy lives. I was alone in this. I knew that everyone I could call was at work. I have no other choice. I have to walk the two miles to get home. I was cursing myself, the car, my life, and the entire world all the way home. I walked from The Boulevard on 17th Street to 1st Avenue which was seven blocks. I then began to walk the remaining 15 blocks to my house. I was cursing the cold, the winter, the state of Pennsylvania and everything in between. I reached 8th Avenue half an hour later and started to breathe a little bit easier. Only five more blocks. Five more, folks! Keep that in mind when you read the next sentence. I put my freezing hands in my pockets and found, yeah, you know where this is going, a ten dollar bill!!!

Excuse my French, but MOTHER FUCKER!!!! This, my friends, is where the nervous breakdown begins! They can tow that car! Screw it, I don’t need it! I better call Rachel and tell her to get a ride home!! I’m done!! The entire five blocks’ worth of snow on the sidewalks was steaming!! My hat was on fire! I finally reached the house, sat down in the kitchen, and gave myself a serious attitude adjustment. I calmed down for five minutes, had some water, ate a little protein-filled snack, and devised a plan. “Fuckin’ car!”

Our friend, Shawn, would be done at work around two thirty. I can call him, ask him to take me back to Sheetz, and that will be that. No big deal and I needed the exercise anyway! Funny, isn’t it, how the Universe can hear me constantly complain that I am slacking in the exercise department these days, and then devise a plan to force me to walk two miles?? HA!! HA!! You guessed it! This is where the story takes a spiritual turn courtesy of my attitude adjustment. If you’ve hung in this far, you’ll love this!

If anyone has read my past blogs they would know that I talk about never really getting a chance to learn who I am on my own. What it is like to be completely independent? Here is my chance to find out! What would I have to do if I were completely on my own? I would have to walk my independent ass back to my car, that’s what!! So let’s do it then, bitch! You want to have experiences; you’re being offered one right now. Why not take it? So I took it. I grabbed my hat, my gloves, and the most important of all, my iPod, and off I went; Lacuna Coil keeping me company in my pocket.

My walk back to my car found me in a completely opposite mood from my walk home. I told this story to myself in my head and created my own ending. I’ll use this walk to find out a little bit about me. Who am I when I am alone? Is that not what this walk is about? I want to know what it is like to be on my own, depending only on me, experiencing my life the way I want to experience it. Isn’t that what I’ve always wanted? Yeah, it’s what I’ve said. Half way through this walk I remembered that I had to get homework done because I promised Rachel a date night! Oh yeah, Rachel. Perhaps you remember that I mentioned my wife at the beginning of these senseless ramblings?

My mood then turned just a little bit melancholy. I watched the wispy, white clouds against the blue sky instead of my feet on the sidewalk. I felt the cold on my face. How can the sun shine so brightly and the air still be so cold? That’s what it would be like. To be independent, experiencing life on your own and however you want to experience it. That life might make me happy; for a while. This is where I warn you of extreme corny thoughts! What would this spiritual experience mean if I had nobody to share it with? I don’t have to be alone to know who I am on my own. I already know who I am. I’m a wife. I’m a mother. I’m a friend, a sister, a daughter.

All of those things are who I am, and being on my own is never going to change that. I hear the song in my pocket, Cristinia Scabbia’s golden voice singing, “Everything is different today. I like it, like it.” I walked the remaining block with a bit of a bounce in my step. I reached my car, filled the tank, and drove home to immediately write this story down for all of you. If you have stuck with me for this long, you deserve a medal!

I have plenty of experiences. Maybe they aren’t glamorous or exotic. They are, however, just a little bit more enriched when I have my family and friends beside me to share them with. I enjoy having someone to listen to my ramblings when I get home at night.  Not just listening, but also engaging in the conversation; a sharing of thoughts, feelings, and ideas. What’s the point of standing at the top of Everest if you’re standing there alone? I’m not saying that I don’t want to travel anymore because of this experience. I’m saying that I need to allow myself to live in the moment. Stop living in the future. The more I think about the future, the longer it will remain the future.

I am still taking Rachel out on that date night, even if I have to be up late doing homework tonight. It will be worth it. Then, like every other night, we will snuggle into bed with a laptop on my lap and watch some show like Family Guy or American Dad, each of which we have watched all episodes a million times, snack on popcorn after another attitude adjustment while Rachel has a beer. Then we spend two hours laughing like idiots at the same ten jokes we’ve heard three dozen times. The only thing that makes it better is when Michayla is home and we laugh like fools in the living room instead! For now, I am ok with being “The Ridiculoustons”, because this is a great experience as well. 

I hope you’re glad that you hung in there! *wink*


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