Innocent curious blue eyes look up at me from a tiny scrunched up face
So small, so fragile, so new to this harsh unforgiving world
Sometimes life throws at you more than you are ready for
Sometimes you have to decide what is best for more than yourself
And when you’re 16 it’s hard to see past your own wants and desires
I never planned for this to happen
But as I sat full of anxiety waiting for that judgment
The pink minus of freedom or that pink plus of adulthood
I started scrutinizing all of my life choices
I thought I knew what I was going to do
I had it all planned out to give you a better life than I could give
But now that you are here
Now that I hold you in my arms, gaze into your face, and feel your little heartbeat
I’m even more confused about my decisions now than before
My heart is ripping in two different directions
I know what would be best for you
But I’m selfishly hanging on to my own fears
I wish I had more time
I wish I had more strength
How can I just give a piece of my heart away
When I didn’t even know it could be stolen so easily
By the smallest of thieves
© Copyright 2017 Stephie Ann Gardner. All rights reserved.
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