The Disturbing Conversation

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

The Disturbing Conversation

“Why, why did she leave?”

I asked quietly

“Because you’re a worthless person”

I hear the cold reply

I bring my knees to my chest

And hide my face in them

“I’m a good person, I’m good, I am”

I say starting to cry

“No you’re not, or she wouldn’t have abandoned you, why would she want to stick around an insignificant person”

I close my eyes tight and cover my ears with my hands

Trying to block out the harsh words

I quietly start to disagree

“no, no, no, I’m a significant person”

“NO YOU’RE NOT!”

I flinch at the words yelled at me

More tears squeeze out from behind tightly closed eye lids

“YOU’RE NOTHING, a NOBODY! You don’t even deserve to live.”

I crush my knees closer to me as more damning words are yelled

“I’m me, I’m not a nobody, I’m a decent person, I want to live”

I manage to squeak out

“NO YOU DON’T, you deserve nothing, you showed No True love”

The words twisted like a knife in my heart

“I DID, I DID”

I screamed at the top of my lungs

“Then tell me why she left you?”

I heard the softly spoken emotionless words in my ear

“I don’t know”

I said in a defeated voice

“That’s right you don’t know, but I do.”

The snide remark made a fresh flow of tears spring to life

“Like I’ve been telling you, she left because you’re worthless, you’re a nobody”

I slowly opened my eyes

“I am a worthless person”

I said in a breathless quivering voice

“I know how to make everything better; I know how to make everyone happy again”

The gentle reassuring words brought hope to my broken heart

“How???”

I asked desperately

“Please tell me how to make everyone happy again”

The words flouted to me like a blessing on the breeze

“Make yourself go away; leave for good, then people won’t have to deal with you”

I uncurled myself from the protective ball

Standing and walking into the bathroom I gazed into the mirror

I saw a Nobody, a Nothing

With a razor griped tightly in my hand

I brought it to my wrist and swiftly sliced down

And then repeated a second time

I took a few steps back to the wall and slid down to sit on the floor

Dropping my hands to my sides

“Finally everyone will be so happy”

I said into the empty room

In the empty house

That only inhabited one


Submitted: March 29, 2012

© Copyright 2022 Stephie Ann Gardner. All rights reserved.

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Comments

R White

Can I have a dislike button. Not for the words, which are beautiful and represent the voice that screams our personal defeat within us, but for the loss of a fight that can be won.

Fri, March 30th, 2012 5:25pm

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This was written in a very defeated Stephie moment. i don't believe that the ending is the real answer to the problem. it was the many occuring idea that would come up a lot. everyone is worth something to someone.

Fri, March 30th, 2012 10:31am

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