Eric & Ernie - Biscuit Breakfast

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A tribute to Eric Morcambe and Ernie Wise:

Simple comedy sketch in the style of the two greats.

Submitted: February 21, 2010

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Submitted: February 21, 2010

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"ERIC AND ERNIE – BISCUIT BREAKFAST"
 
By
 
Steve Basnett
 
 
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
 
POV FROM SIDE OF TABLE THROUGHOUT
 
Two middle-aged chaps in dressing gowns sit across a kitchen breakfast table. Eric is reading a newspaper; Ernie hugs a large biscuit tin.
 
ERIC
 
Pass us a biccie, Ern.
 
 
Ernie opens the lid, picks out a small biscuit and hands it across the table to Eric. Eric takes the biscuit without looking up from his paper and begins to munch on it.
 
Ernie helps himself to a biscuit. It’s the size of a saucer. The two continue munching in silence for a few moments.
 
 
ERIC
 
Pass us another biccie, Ern.
 
Again, Ernie opens the lid, picks out an even smaller biscuit and hands it across the table to Eric. Eric takes the biscuit without looking up. As he brings it up to his mouth, he examines it momentarily before returning to his paper.
 
Ernie helps himself to another saucer-sized biscuit, eating it as quickly as possible.
 
Eric holds out his arm for another biscuit. Ernie delves into the tin, produces the smallest biscuit yet and places it into Eric’s hand.
 
Ernie then helps himself to another over-sized biscuit.
 
Eric, arm still out stretched holding the titchy biscuit, slaps the paper down on the table.
 
Ernie smiles innocently, and nibbles on his biscuit quite contentedly.
 
Eric adjusts his thick-rimmed spectacles and lifts them away from his face slightly as if to examine the size of Ernie’s biscuit. He replaces his spectacles, shifts in his seat, and gives a disgruntled twitch towards camera.
 
Without looking at Ernie, he forcefully points his index finger down onto the table.
 
Ernie reluctantly slides the tin across the table.
 
Eric lifts the tin lid, and peers in. He looks up at Ernie with disapproval. He reaches into the tin, and pulls out a biscuit bigger than the tin can hold. With a self-satisfied smile, he takes an enormous bite, and returns to reading his paper.
 
 
THE END
 


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