The frumpy girl with dirty-blond hair sat in the back of the taxi. He legs were too short, her face not remarkable enough. Not remarkable enough to be the lead singer in a rock and
roll band. Not enough to be the canary for Missing Persons. But that’s what she was. She looked in her small make-up compact and evaluated herself.
“I just don’t got it’” she thought, “Whatever “it” is, I just don’t got it.”
She closed the compact, adjusted all three of the scarves tied around her neck, the blue on first, the pink one second, the yellow last because it was on top. When they pulled up at the
Roxy she got out, and walked into the alleyway to find the back stage-door entrance. She had a gig tonight.
She saw a dark-haired girl about seven playing with a ball in the light falling through an open kitchen door a few yards away. Her dress was tattered, he shoes in threads. She
looked to Dale to be Haitian.
“A poor kid,” she thought, and motioned her nearer.
The child obeyed.
“Here Honey,” she said, and taking the yellow scarf, she wrapped it gently around the girl’s, neck. Her eyes brightened.
Then she walked into the stage-entrance door and disappeared.
The Haitian girl caressed the yellow scarf. How could she thank the nice lady? She put down the ball on the pavement and returned to the kitchen door and went inside closing it
Her mother wasn’t home, so that was perfect. She would never allow her to do such things even when she was there. She opened the drawer, and got out a candle. Then she looked
for some aluminum foil and string. Finding them, she now searched for crayolas. Then she got some scissors and cut a bit of string from a cotton mop her mother used to clean the
floor. She laid everything out on the kitchen table. Now she was ready.
Inside the Roxy they were having an argument. The band didn’t have enough room to dress in. Dale needed a separate space. The rest were guys, so she needed some
privacy. Finally it was arranged by putting a rope from a pillar to the wall, and hanging a blanket from it, giving her a kind of screen.
“A girl’s got to have some privacy when she gets ready!” she had screamed, so they gave her her way. Besides, this was the eighties. The guys all wanted to use her mascara and her
hairspray. It completed their eighties look. The drummer would have given her her way anyway, he had many times before. He was in love with her. She got her way, the screaming
stopped, and all was forgiven.
In the kitchen the Haitain girl started carving the candle with a knife. This was her first time. She needed a model to copy, so she grabbed her Barbie nearby. It had no
“But that’s alright,” she said to herself, ‘I’ll make my own.”
So the legs, exceptionally long, got carved first. Then the boobs.
“I’ll make ‘em just right,” she said.
She continued until she got up to the hair. Her Barbie was bald.
“But that’s O.K.” she said, “I can always make hair.”
Back at the Roxy, the guys were pleading for hairspray.
“Come on Dale, we haven’t got all night.”
A hand appeared near the curtain holding hairspray can.
Then it was, “Dale, can we borrow your mascara?”
The answer came back, “When will you guys finally get your own?”
But she handed it from behind the curtain anyway.
“Here,” she said.
In the kitchen the girl thought the mop string would never do for hair.
“It’s bleached white from the Clorox,” she said to the doll, “But don’t worry, I can fix that.”
She picked up a blue, then a pink crayon and crushed them into the hair with her foot, putting pink on one side, blue on the other.
“There,’ she said.
Then she took a piece of pink crayon that was left and twisted some on both of the doll’s cheeks for rouge.
“All most done now,” she said.
She took scissors and cut out pieces of aluminum foil and pieced them together with string. Now she had an aluminum-foil-string-bikini.
“Only one thing left to do,” she announced to the doll proudly.
In the Roxy the stage hand came to the door of the dressing room and announced,
“Five minutes!” the guys told Dale.
Her voice came from behind the curtain.
“You know,’ she said, “I hope there’s a big crowd. It’s been pretty slack. If we can’t bring ‘em in, I’m ready to quit.”
“Don’t say that honey,” said the drummer, “they just want something different, that’s all. We just haven’t found it yet.”
“Maybe this is it,” she announced, and drew the curtain aside.
In the kitchen the Haitian girl was putting the yellow scarf around the neck of the doll.
“You always need something of theirs, something personal,” she said, “Mama taught me that.”
She walked over to the stove and turned on the fire.
In the Roxy when they walked on stage, the drummer said, “What shall we give them Dale?”
“Let’s do “Words”, then follow that with “Destination Unknown.”
Here’s what Cindy Lauper who was sitting in the third row, Gwen Stephani, who was sitting in the seventh row, and lady Gaga, who was sitting in the twelfth row saw:
A girl of exceptional beauty, with legs that started somewhere near her neck, in an abbreviated costume designed by herself, with bleached blond hair, part pink, part blue, belting out a song
with a delivery they’d never heard before.
Dale was the original two-in-one girl. In herslef she combined two American icons of sex.
She had the look of Marilyn Monroe, and the vocal delivery of Betty Boop. Two in One.
Cindy Lauper took note of her Betty Boop squeal and pop in her voice. Gwen Stefani noticed her bleached blond hair and her idiosyncratic movements. She’d save these for
later. Lady Gaga couldn’t help but notice her unique costume. She definitely picked up on that and would file it for future reference.
In the kitchen the girl was finished holding the voodoo doll over the flame. When Dale had finished their numbers, she was told by the drummer,
“Honey, you were hot.”
“Yeah,” she answered, “I felt like I was on fire.”
They were going to take a cab home as usual, but when they all added it up they didn’t have the money.
“We’ll have to walk, “said the drummer.
“Walkin’ in L.A.?” Dale Bozzio answered, “Nobody walks in L.A.”
They went outside and found a cab waiting. Explaining they were broke, the cab driver began to turn away. Then he gave Dale another look.
“Hop in Lady,” he said with a smile, “I’ve got it.”
“No,” Dale said smiling back, “I’ve got “it” I guess I always did
© Copyright 2016 Steven Hunley. All rights reserved.