Trash Check Two

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
The Roaming Around reintroduced 01/21/2014
A short story for haunt sorrows contest, using words that aren't in my dictionary.

Submitted: July 31, 2014

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 31, 2014



Trash Check Two

The Roaming Around


“Captain, a star ship has just entered the solar system sir. It's the Roaming Around.” Uhearder said spinning in her chair to face the commander.

“Damn it, here to spoil our fun like the erinaceous beast that she is!” he replied turning to face Uhearder.

“They're hailing us sir, shall I---

“May as well put the illustrious Captain Aimaway on the horn.”

“Captain Dirt, this is Captain Askem N. Aimaway of the Leading The Nations star ship, Roaming Around. You're out of your league here, Nihilarian.” she said over the bridge speakers.

“Nihilarian, Captain? Im from … don't even say shit Spot, or I'll pull those ears off and feed them to my cat---

“My lips are sealed Captain.” Spot replied running his right index finger over his lips as if zipping them shut.

“Captain Aimaway, I'm from Whogivesashi … that's Whogivesashi---

“Shit Captain, the Bringitons and Comealongs are breaking orbit and heading straight for the Roaming Around!” Slingfood said turning to see the if looks could kill gaze that the captain was giving him.

“I didn't say a word, Captain.” Spot said from behind him.

“Listen Aimaway, you take care of the enemy ships, and I'll take care of cleaning up the Forgotten mess, Justice P. Dirt, over and out. Uhearder, cut the transmission and lets get to work.”

The Fertilizer was freed up to do what it had been summoned to do. Garbage shuttles took off from the rear of the ship and made their way into the atmosphere while Slingfood took pot shots at the refuse floating around in orbit.

“Captain, my sensors are picking up a large object on a secluded island. If I can home in on it precisely, I'll project it on the main view---

“Not while I'm firing on the credits that I'm making, Commander Spot. I may miss the garbage and hit one of our shuttles.” Slingfood said keeping his sharp eyes out for more refuse to incinerate.

“Why Lieutenant Slingfood, I am baffled that you would think that I would block your view of credits.”

“Shut up, the both of you, and cooperate with one another, do you---

“Shit Captain, it's the Dippity-do, and there are survivors! Shall I put it on the main viewer?” Spot asked gazing down at Slingfood who threw both hands up in defeat.

“I'm sorry Hurlatyou, but if it's the Dippity-do, just think of the credits we could all be rolling in.” Dirt said.

The door to the bridge zipped open and a female Boreright stepped out of the lift and onto the upper deck. She was brandishing a weapon in her right hand and a fellow crew member's head in her left.

“Captain, we ... have ... an intruder on the bridge ... sir.” Myohmy Uhearder said trying not to gag on her own vomit.

“How can we have an intruder on the bridge without the intruder alert klaxon going off?” Dirt said spinning his chair around to gaze on the head in the Boreright's hand and noticing the bridge alert klaxon in Uhearder's right hand with it's dangling wires as she lowered it slowly to the deck.

“Is that one of ours?” he asked while his eyes shifted between the severed head and the Boreright's.

“No, it is not. I thought that it would add a bit of flare at my attempt to frighten you.”

“Make us sick is what it's doing.” Uhearder managed to say before tossing her cookies on the bridge.

“At least you put your cookies in a ziplock bag this time Lieutenant. Are they chocolate chip or peanut butter?” Spot asked licking his lips.

“You're Seven Ate Nine, aren't you?” Dirt asked standing and putting both hands up in the air.

“I'm here to make sure that the Dippity-do is safely returned to Birth, intact and---

“Birth? I thought the Dippity-do was enroute to Afro Innafury with the Rockingson family and Major Arrest?” Dirt asked as a dirty thought ran through his mind. Man oh man, what I'd give to be Ten for a night out with Seven!


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