PARALLEL PARKING

Reads: 265  | Likes: 3  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 8

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic


Parallel parking... my Achilles heel!


Since when did parallel parking become a spectator sport? Well allow me to enlighten you... at precisely ten twenty five this morning!

It all began when I arrived for my routine dental check-up to find the small car park full. No, problem, I thought, driving into the one way street just round the corner with the benefit of short stay parking bays on both sides of the road.

As luck would have it, there was just one empty bay available between two parked cars. Directly to the left of it, in a converted building beyond the pavement, is office accommodation.

Now I am the first to admit that parallel parking has always presented a challenge to me, but with time and several (okay numerous) manoeuvres later, I can normally make a reasonable job of it. The problem is getting the car at the correct angle to achieve a seamless manoeuvre that seems to be beyond my capability, and today was no exception.

At the second attempt I became vaguely aware of a figure at the window of one of the offices, a steaming mug clutched firmly in his hand and, it seemed, enjoying some opportune entertainment during a coffee break. At the fourth attempt, convinced I had achieved a snug fit beside the kerbside, to my horror I realised there was still a yawning gap between 'it' and the wheels of the car.

I could almost feel my spectator's eyes burning into me and, to add insult to injury, a quick sideways glance revealed he had now been joined by a colleague, who had no doubt been alerted to the sport taking place.

With my cheeks burning with humiliation, I finally manoeuvred the car into a reasonable position and, resisting a strong urge to flick an obscene gesture towards my smirking spectators, made my way quickly towards the dental surgery. I have never in my life been so pleased to step inside a dental surgery... hear the comforting sound of the drill, inhale that distinct smell, and sink gratefully into the reclining chair.

Any problems?” my smiling Dentist asks.

 


Submitted: September 12, 2018

© Copyright 2021 Sue Harris. All rights reserved.

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Comments

hullabaloo22

Ah, Sue, this brought all of my abysmal driving test flooding back! Good job on keeping your cool, there!

Wed, September 12th, 2018 9:09pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading Hully... its bad enough making a pigs ear of it when no-one else is looking, but with spectators its absolutely toe curling.

Wed, September 12th, 2018 2:33pm

KathrynAcacia

Oh, you have no idea how much this made me smile (sorry- I don't mean to laugh at your expense... it made me feel less terrible, I guess? lol). First, because it made me think of my parents- we have this giant minivan back home, and it never fits ANYWHERE, trying to park is an absolute nightmare, and my parents are forever having to back it in and out of parking spots... we always have to budget ten extra minutes for parking anytimes we go anywhere.
And also, because I was having the WORST day I think I've ever had with regards to being on the road, although I was biking, not driving. First I nearly got squashed by a semi truck whose driver apparently forgot how to work his turn signal, then I got honked at by a car because I stopped at a stoplight (it was red? I don't know why he honked but he did and it startled me), then I got pulled over by a cop for not stopping enough at a stop sign (which I'll admit was completely my fault- I didn't see the stop sign, and I should have been paying more attention), then in the middle of getting scolded by the cop THREE bikers proceeded to roll through that stop sign and he didn't even look at them, then he started literally yelling at me (and can we just agree that people in body armor with guns should avoid shouting unless it's necessary? please?), then he finally let me leave and in my hurry to get away I proceeded to run my bike into a tree.
In front of the cop.
(You know, usually I'm a really good biker. Today just wasn't my day.)
Anywho I was so humiliated, but when I finally got back to my room in one piece, I had this waiting for me to read... It definitely made me feel less awful, lol. Thank you. XD (Prior to today I would have had a hard time imagining finding a dentist's office comforting... not now though!)

Wed, September 12th, 2018 10:49pm

Author
Reply

Oh dear, Kathryn, your cycling experience makes my parking problem sound like a breeze! You poor girl, having an armed cop yelling at you and then ignoring three other cyclists who did exactly the same... that is just so unfair! I think in the same situation I would probably have wet myself!! Well, I'm pleased my spectators made you smile and lightened your stressful day!

Thu, September 13th, 2018 6:57am

KathrynAcacia

Lol, in hindsight (now that I'm feeling calmer) that last comment is so rambly and random, I'm so sorry XD I really did feel so much better after reading your story, it was an "Oh, thank God, someone else has problems on the road!" kind of moment, haha

Thu, September 13th, 2018 4:47am

Author
Reply

I actually loved your rambles, I could picture your dilemma... and the injustice of it! Glad I made you smile xx

Thu, September 13th, 2018 7:01am

Markie Bee

A brilliant piece of comedy writing, even if at your own expense. True comedy is just life observed. Thank you for sharing an insight into your life.

Thu, September 13th, 2018 11:17am

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading and for your super comment, Markie. Pleased you enoyed it... it was good to get it off my chest!

Thu, September 13th, 2018 7:06am

jaylisbeth

Oh, boy! How I can relate to your experience, Sue. Excellent write, dear friend.

Thu, September 13th, 2018 12:41pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, JB. So humiliating but sometimes in hindsight you just have to laugh at these sort of situations!

Thu, September 13th, 2018 7:10am

r futrell

I can't parallel park either. Could the dentist have been the onlooker? Ugh!!!! Wonderful story.

Sun, September 23rd, 2018 11:49pm

Author
Reply

So humiliating! Thanks for reading.

Mon, September 24th, 2018 12:38am

r futrell

I probably would have pulled out, and parked a mile away, just to get rid of the onlookers.

Sun, September 23rd, 2018 11:51pm

Author
Reply

I was running late for my appointment so had to ppersevere.

Mon, September 24th, 2018 12:40am

JE Falcon aka JEF

Parallel parking was invented by a crazed mathematician, I sure of it. That being said, I'd like to say that this was a fun read and I enjoyed every chuckling moment.

Tue, October 2nd, 2018 6:58pm

Author
Reply

Actually, I'm inclined to agree with you. Thanks so much for reading and commenting and so pleased you found it entertaining. It's so important to be able to laugh at our own shortcomings!

Tue, October 2nd, 2018 12:13pm

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