The brisk wind blew hard against Ellie's cold face as her feet crunched on the frozen snow reminding her that her mother, once again, forgot to pick up her daughter from school.
Ellie walked out of the house on her way home from band practice. There was a week left until winterbreak. Lovely. Another weekend with her mom. This weekend would be torture because it was extended. During the break, everyone will be spending time with their family celebrating whatever holiday they celebrate yearly. Ellie would be spending some time at home alone because her forgetful mom worked at the hospital a few blocks away from her home.
As she thought of her lonliness last year, she felt her stomach sink. She felt the palpable pain from last year that her mnother had ignored.
Ellie's hate for her mother was prominent throughout her group of friends. No. She didn't exactly hate her. She longed for her mother to be more than she ever was.
Unfortunately, Ellie had no one to turn to. Her mother was too busy with extra shifts trying to be the best single mother in the world. (Ellie loved her mom because she worked hard to make Ellie grow up right. Which she had.) Her father had fallen from life's clutches right in front of Ellie's young eyes. All she truly had was Ashley and Pete, the cutest couple in the school.
Elli began to remember her father. After pre-school, her father would pick her up and on the way home, she'd point out the window and ask sweetly if they could pull over to play on the playground. There were three. There was \"The Red Playground,\" \"The Yellow Playground,\" and \"The Rainbow Playground.\" Her dad loved to watch her go higher each day on the playset. She used to be terribly afraid of climbing to the round top and falling onto the wood-chip ground. Her father told her that nothing would happen to her. She never could conquer her fear. One day, she thought to herself, I'm going to do it! I'm going to climb to the top! Her father watched her with his arms wide open so she'd feel more comfortable and so she'd know that her father would catch her. Daddy knew that she wouldn't fall. His strong, independent girl knew what she was doing. He saw it in her eyes, her smile, and how she hung on the lower parts. She just didn't have the confidence. She kept thinking rhythmically, I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't realized that the next bar wasn't there. She quickly put her hand back down on the last bar. She sat at the round top. \"I told you!\" her father said. She giggled a little. She was proud of herself. But no one was more proud than her father.
Ellie sifted through the memories of her and her father clutching her Alice in Wonderland backpack. Suddenly, warm tears travelled down her cold face. The thermal tear became freezing and made the temperature of her face descend even more.
Ellie was seven when the worse pain in her life was handed--thrown to her.
Her dad was stressed about work. He decided to take a walk. The neighborhood was normally safe and secure. Not that night. Her dad was in Ellie's sight. She waved through the window. He smiled his angelic smile. Suddenly, there was shouting and booms of laughter and Ellie heard tires squeal loudly. Ellie's eyes widened as her vision seemed to be in slow motion. The sleek car zoomed into her father's legs and sent him flying into a telephone pole. His body went limp as the car raced away. Ellie's eyes were blurred with tears as she screamed with her hands on the window. She stared at the limp corpse. Her mother grabbed her away from the window and held her child so she couldn't escape from the house knowing that the alcoholics could return and her life could be taken away next.
Her tears began pouring out. She sat down on the cold curb. She put her head in her hands. She had no more memories with her father after she was seven. Her father had been dead for almost ten years now. He died on a cold January night. Every time it snowed, she'd remember her father's untimely death. Her friends would be outside throwing snowballs or making snow angels while Ellie stared out the same window at the same spot huddled underneath the huge blanket her father had given her when she turned two fifteen years ago.
A car honked its horn. Ellie snapped her head up quickly. Ashley and Pete were getting out of the car. \"What's wrong?\" Ashley said quickly noticing the tears.
She embraced her upset friend in a hug. \"I was just thinking... about my dad.\"
Ashley and Pete, her best friends, knew all about her father's death. Ashley had been her friend since she was born and Pete had become her friend when she was five.
\"Aw. Ellie. It's okay. He's happier now. You'll see him again. Don't worry.\"
Pete joined in the hug. He started to learn that girls sometimes need to hold on to the people that they love to get through the moment, to enter the world of bliss evantually once more. We sat on the curb until Ashley said, \"Can we get up? My butt is freezing.\" Ellie and Peter laughed. \"How is that funny!? My butt is probably blue right now.\"
\"Come on, we should be getting home. Both of you, in the car!\" Pete got back into the driver's seat. Ellie got in the back and Ashley followed her. \"So now I'm your driver? When'd that happen?\"
\"Just now,\" Ellie said smirking at him as he looked back at them through the mirror.
When Ellie was dropped off at her empty, eerie house, she darted to her room and pulled her diary out from under bed. This was where she admitted everything about her life since her dad died. The book was big. She was planning on typing out the diary and then start over in a new book and keep all the pages together in one binder.
Ellie began to write in her calligraphic handwriting.
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