Emulate of Myself

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

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This is my real everyday lives of myself and how I spent most of time by myself and fellas. Sometimes I need help from my therpist and this is called "Emulate of Myself" sometimes the title of story is funny.

I behaves rough shit, play with haggish horror-poker



Sumit Barua


Shut your mouth for a minute and maybe you will learn something from me. I am a student of Cambridge Rindge & Latin High School in Cambridge, Massachusetts. I kick butts of people and I don’t even say a name because I could give a racist profile about other’s identities. I made more money just hitting on the ground than you’ll earn in a decade. I also don’t even care what other’s are feeling and I’m better than everyone.


But, come the weekend, I turn into a freaking-person, banana-eater, kicking the computer-for-not working-properly, comedy-dialogues-saying.


When I’m in the school, watch for people: I will throw you out of the window and getting some air from you. I’m not a windmill. I will smash you like potatoes and eating you out. Because whole day I didn’t eat anything except finishing work and study. I challenge myself no matter anything back by sundown.


And after a hard day of work and school, I love watching movie with practicing some monologues. On low volume, and a tall, ice cold Martini/Budweiser in designed glass from Birmingham and then sip in some drink to refresh myself.


Hey Racist, fix your mouth the way that you are talking. Horizontal, parabola, vertical polish design imported from Helsinki. My mom designed it by herself in 8 years from today.


Yesterday this young Brit in my house came to me, popping for shoe and some help. Seriously, Brit has uggs on his head and sorry for himself by asking some questions inappropriately. “When a cow is not dead until his uncle is freaking”. Because the cow is for milking and psychology for human brains and needs. I collect coins that I picked up from a old-haggish glass.


Hold on, I’m closing on something the size of shoe company’s names Haggy-Creepy Calvin and the Dickie’s been on my ass like Tom Cruise on a bull...... Beth, be a doll and clear my way for dirty, filthy relatives and order up a couple pounds of burritos, ‘cause Daddy’s gonna sleep on the weekend. And do me a favor: make sure you correctly behaves with my friends and the restart the freaking computer on Helium of “Beth under Sumit, where he(Sumit) gotta infected by being husband of Beth”.

My family and I get together once in a week or month- we can’t do it more than that, given how much time we spend molding the financial and movie world in our images, and also most of them have newborns in Summerville, so the commute’ a bitch. We’ll hang in someone’s house-watching-haggs-horror, read first-wave magazines of Jennifer Aniston, and discuss our insecurities stemming from our regular fighting. This is what a family does in real life and if you can’t stand the cohesion from cooler-heat system, just get out of my house, ‘cause I am probably eating some insects, except not for Ron, because he has peanut allergy.


Don’t even think about beating and hitting me. I can make you fritter and eat you thousand times over and over. And I’ll be laughing the way that I rarely talk to my psychotherapist appointment. Jesus, where Ms. Acosta and I work on using the time to laughing and coping the problem as a means of assuaging social and behavioral problem.

You got a problem with what I’m saying? Well, you know what we do with little time like where you and me come from? We rarely sit down together and started to talk about our opinions on a living room in which we start with a regular sentence, “I feel.” I come from London, United Kingdom.

Hey Donkey, don’t debag me in front of my family members. The girls with big knockers milking the Jack where he was dreaming about to marry a girl names Gioviano. But he wants to marry Gioviano because he is a bugger. I warned you Jack and you didn’t listened to me!!! In your brains there is no way to put words also your age is so much immature. “You are wild” said, Jack. I am all right Jack!!! Piss off right now aight. Things are bomb up so much in the market now these days.

When you’re ready to learn how to be a master of the world, call me. Merely if it’s a Saturday night, after I close the game of poker, don’t bother me. That’s my time for gossiping with my family.


Vocabulary Words

* Emulate: Imitate or match the story from someone.

* Piss off: Go away!!

* Debag: to humiliate in front of people.

* Bomb Up: expensive in the market.


The main Characters of the Emulates

Beth Graham Hannibal: The author’s girlfriend and future wife.

Jack Sombre: The author’s uncle and best friend.

Gioviano Sombre: Ex- girlfriend and wife of Jack Sombre also author’s aunt.

Gloria Acosta, LICSW- The author’s psychotherapist and great mentor.

Brit Young: The author’s best childhood friend.

Sumit Barua: The author and a student of Cambridge Rindge & Latin School

Submitted: September 07, 2013

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This is a Satire based jokes. All the characters are fictitious except Me and Gloria Acosta.

Fri, May 23rd, 2014 11:19am

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