Her superman 2

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
Part 2

Submitted: August 15, 2012

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Submitted: August 15, 2012

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It finally happened. I realized it’s over. I never thought we could ever have an end only a beginning that happened a little over two years ago. I realized it was over last night when I was reading what you wrote me seeing your face in those pictures. I finally let it out and cried. My friend said you don’t deserve them and it is taking everything inside of me to now go running back to you. they say you were playing me, taking me for granted, a bitch, but to me you were never those things because I believed you, you once told me you took me for granted in a letter you wrote me when you said you were missing me more than you have in your entire life. Do you miss me now? I think of you and what you are doing at this moment are you feeling the same way I am? Unable to breathe, think, eat? I don’t eat I just remember I have to because truth is I’m not hungry. My heart is hungry but for you it waits for you and you aren’t coming back. I told you the truth you told me it was never really over until I kissed her back. He kissed you the thought of that hurts me and breaks me to no end. Then I think of a year from now or maybe even ten someone else will be kissing you maybe even calling you mom you’ll be someone else’s I don’t want you to be anyone’s except for mine. I am selfish because I want you and yet I don’t go for you like I always have. Are you the one that got away? Only time will tell if that’s true or not. Are you missing me at this very moment like I’m missing you now? Is this the most you’ve ever missed me now? Or are you laughing, having fun, or getting comfort from another, maybe even him? I hope not because I truly thought we were a forever type of deal. That is how I always pictured it at least. It has been a few days since I have talked to you. I always wanted to know what you are doing and thinking but none more than right now at this very moment. I think hearing this song isn’t doing me much good perhaps it is only hurting me. I am trying to distract myself from everyday tasks like you told me once because it is taking me everything in me to stop thinking of you, well to be honest to try to stop because nothing brings you out of my mind. I don’t know how long this heartbreak will last because this is the first time this has happened to me. Your birthday is only days away and I only think of how you will spend it and with you. I hope you spend it in happiness and friends and I hope you get everything you want because truth is you deserve so much more. I had a lot of things I wanted to tell you that is why it took me so long to write another part but when the time comes I become speechless just like I would if I would talk to you again I don’t know what I would say. Just seeing your picture my favorite you know the one. Your brown hair, your soft skin, you amazing smile that will haunt me for the rest of my life because I know for a fact I will never find another that will make me feel the way yours did. I hope everything went well with your test results by the way. I know I shouldn’t have hopes but I do I fall asleep and dream of your presence to hear your voice and especially that laughter that you hated so much and I lived for. You were and are the reason I am still breathing you gave me hope. It may seem like I may be ignoring you or don’t want you but the truth is I want nothing more than you. I know you deserve better and you will get it even though it breaks every part of my very being. The thought of someone calling you theirs makes me think if you will love him more than you loved me. We had a lot of promises and adventures that we didn’t take and hopefully he can make each one happen and make it right. I know time is supposed to heal all wounds but it seems as though it won’t happen for an eternity. That’s how long we were supposed to be together, it wouldn’t have been long enough. The first impression I had of you wasn’t the best. You were some conceited girl who every guy fell for. I knew I had fallen for you but I didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of knowing I was just another among the crowd. I tried to play it cool something I’m not so good at but I played the part to well because before I knew it someone else was calling you theirs in many ways. I was the person you talked to and soon I was the person you told everything to. It took nine months until I could call you mind after you rejected me at least five times. I know you said you didn’t reject me but you did many times but it doesn’t matter because I would have kept on asking either way. I couldn’t pass on something that would completely change my life in the best way possible. You are my rock in the sea in which I stand (coldplay reference). All those late nights of being childish and not being able to tell you how I actually felt about you. The way you made me feel was always there. It was like talking to you for the first time each time I talked to you. You gave me that feeling in my stomach and such happiness. You told me in the beginning you would make me smile and truth is you made me smile the same day you met me. I just didn’t say so because I wanted to be a challenge to the many others that were before me. I know there weren’t many but there were a few. You said they didn’t last long and I am glad about that because you were mine. In my mind you are still mine in a way, truth you’ll always be mine in a way because like I said a long time ago I don’t think you ever get over someone because if you do you never loved them. I love you. I always will in a way because you will forever carry a part of me with you, good or bad. I hope it is always good. You made me the man I am today. I thank you for that. I know today was hard and tomorrow it might be harder or easier I don’t know yet, but as long as I know you’re ok I think I will be fine for the time being. I also told you I would stop loving you the day I stop saying it and today is not that day. I love you snowflake


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