LETTER TO ADDICTED CHILD

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a letter written by a very frustrated mother of a teenage addict. You can tell in her words that she is scared for her son and his future.

Submitted: December 29, 2008

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Submitted: December 29, 2008

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April 21, 2008
 
 
Dear Addicted Child:
 
I am tired. I am weary. I don’t know what else to do to help you. I have put my life on hold and the lives of your younger siblings. 
 
The guilt I have for all of you is immense. I feel guilt for you because I feel that somehow your addiction is my fault, even though I cannot think of anything hurtful I have done to you to cause this, but I go over and over it and try to figure it out, to no avail. I have guilt for your siblings because they need me but all of my attention, all of my energy & all of my thoughts & worries are 24/7 and they are all directed towards you.
 
This has gone on for years now. 
 
I am exhausted.
 
I enlisted the help of people I didn’t know a few months ago to get you into a rehab program. You went to Pekin, IL and then on to Chicago, IL for a couple of months with the Safe Haven program there. You came home and went right back to the destructive behavior that has gotten you in trouble for so long. 
 
Why??
 
I do not understand addiction. I do not understand why someone cannot just not do something they know will hurt them and their families. 
 
You have a daughter now to think about! Why is she not important enough to you to change your lifestyle?? 
 
You have a younger brother and sister who look up to you – idolize you. Do you want them to follow in these footsteps of yours? I don’t believe you do, but you’re not willing to put in the effort to make sure that doesn’t happen. Your younger brother needs his medication for ADHD, but you continue to steal it. Please stop taking his medication from him. He is only 11 and needs it. 
 
Most of all, you’re not willing to put in the effort for yourself. That is unacceptable to me. You are important to us – we do not want to be without you permanently. 
 
I am disgusted by your lack of motivation. I have not raised you this way. You need to raise your standards for yourself and stop lowering them. Stop hanging around the people who only want to use you for what you can get them, whether it be illegal drugs, pills or alcohol. Why can’t you see that they aren’t really your friends?? Why?? Has this addiction blinded you so badly that you cannot see this??
 
I have no social life anymore – my friends are gone. I have spent so much time on your addiction that I have forgotten everyone else, including myself. I don’t do anything for myself anymore – nor do I care. I have too many other things on my mind than to worry about myself! Who cares about me or my needs when my son is so sick and refuses to help himself?! Who cares about wholesome meals when my son is so sick and refuses to help himself?! Not me! 
 
But I should. 
 
I need to. 
 
I don’t know how anymore. Your addiction has consumed me. 
 
I don’t know what else to do. I think about ending my life all the time just so that I can get some relief from all of this. This has gone on too long, but I cannot stop worrying about you because you are my son today and forever. You are my son. You always will be. As long as I’m alive, I will fight for you, even though you’re not willing to fight for yourself. 
 
Please try harder!
 
Love,
 
Your Mother
 


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