No Man Left Behind

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Not enough change in the pocket

Submitted: December 30, 2015

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Submitted: December 30, 2015

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In a time period now long past we people of the world did not have cells phones. I know this is shocking to the younger crowd.

 When the internet was born it was dial up and for those of us who shared in that joyous beginning we didn’t mind sitting for a half hour waiting for some picture to load up, now I can’t even imagine how I stood it.

But the thing that was the most annoying back in the day was land line phones, or rather all the charges that the phone company would dump on us.

You had only a small area of people you could call for free and the rest were long distance and costly.  Some neighbors would be in your calling area and one across the street would not be, it was a mess and hard to figure out whom you could call for free and who would cost money.

Having 5 Children and 5 different activities the kids were involved in kept me running, making sure they were all picked up when they were done with swim practice, baseball practice or whichever activity they had chosen was a challenge. Of course all activities fell into the long distance call category but they needed to call me when practice was over for a ride home. 

I came up with an ingénues plan, back in those days if you called someone collect you did not have to pay for that call, unless the party you were calling accepted the call. So I gave the kids all code names. They would call collect using a code name that they had been assigned. One child’s code name was Luigi, another got the name Bond, Missy was assigned and  the final code name was Flower not a cool code name but this child insisted, so I gave in.  The other child was only 3 she did not qualify for a code name yet she was in preschool and I pretty much had a beat on her pick up time. 

Our first few days of “operation screw the phone company” went pretty good, kids would call the operator, which was a free call and intern I would get a call “This is the operator and I am calling with a collect call from Lugii will you accept the charges”? And of course I would say no and take off to pick up my son.

Then one day it all fell apart like all great plans do when one of the kids forgot her code name "This is the operator with a collect call from Rose will you accept  the charges”? I’m thinking I don’t know any one named Rose and did not except the call. It wasn’t till dinner and we are all gathered at the kitchen table that I realized I had a daughter missing, it was code name FLOWER. I won’t write down my exact words at the moment I realized I was a kid short but it rhymes with duck, and off to the dance studio I flew.

We dropped my not so ingénues plan that night and moved on with a better plan which required lots of dimes.  Never left a man behind again, as long as we don’t talk about the time I left my 12 year old son at the gas station, but that only took me about half of a mile before I noticed he was missing, he’s always bringing it up to this day.

 


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