that night

It all went happened so fast , screaming, the lights , the terror , the sound the last words spoken “I don’t regret this” and then it went black. There was nothing I could do to stop it.  Regret… is that something that is easily forgotten. The crash wasn’t my only problem , I needed to get over what happened what changed and what was lost, but how that is the question I ask myself every time I close my eyes. 

If I don’t think about it, will that make it any less real ,or just delusional. I lost my youth that night something like that changes a person.  

In order to find myself again I need to let go, not of the memories we shared and not of the life I had but of that night the night that ended it all the night that took away two lives one so fragile and pure and the other part of me. If I let go of those thoughts and allow myself to get rid of that night , out of mind out of sight. 

It will take time for me but I will get there, I need to look after my needs before I try and figure out what I am going to do next. It’s a scary world out there and knowing what can happen without a warning has made me accept my life and my time on this world is precious and not to be taken for granted. 

I’ve come out the other side and faced my demons I have gotten over what had happened on that night, came to realise it was just an unlucky misfortunate event and even though it happened to people who should never have had to face that, it happened. I will always love them in my heart but no longer in my mind,