Depression

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic

The mind of a depressed person.

My friends call me Suzonne, but that’s not my name. My name is depression. I have taken over her mind, her body, her soul. I am all that’s left of her. It may seem like she is still here. Yes, she walks, she talks, she eats and sleeps. But if you look into her eyes, her spark is gone. She may have escaped my sights for a few moments, but I got her back. The light vanished and now there is darkness. There is no hope for her now. When she's alone at night, everyone thinks she's sound asleep. No, hear that? The wind, you say? Think again. She's crying, screaming those silent screams. Trying to keep those voices from taking over again. She knows she can't win, she never does, never will. She throws open her drawer and pulls out the blades. One by one, she drags them across her skin, Shallow at first, but them deeper. Dripping onto the floor, her clothes covered in her crimson blood. Hear that? She's laughing, smiling. The voices are gone. She cleans her blood off of the floor, changes her clothes, and get in bed. You see, they call her Suzonne, but my name is depression, for I have taken over her mind, body, and soul. I am all that's left, and all there ever will be.

 


Submitted: March 17, 2015

© Copyright 2022 SuzonneH. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Crowefoot

Powerful and painful to read (in a good way) DON'T kill yourself. Keep writing if it helps with the pain. Also writing about other people, others lives can help distract from your own pain- try it.

Thu, March 19th, 2015 2:25am

Author
Reply

Thank you!

Thu, March 19th, 2015 6:02am

tigur112

Depression sucks. But you aren't really depressed though. If you would be, you would not write anything ever during that illness. I like your writing. It is awesome.

Thu, April 2nd, 2015 11:12pm

Author
Reply

Um, I'm sorry? I love your comments but I have been depressed, and still am. I love your honesty though.

Fri, April 3rd, 2015 8:00am

quetzala

love the poem i can relate, not now, ive overcome most of it for most of the time, sometimes not. but this was a great poem i love the way you but it into depressions view as if it was a person, like a ultra ego. Great job
please check out some of my work and let me know what you think if you get a chance thank you

Wed, April 29th, 2015 8:05pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, so much! And I'd love to take a look!

Fri, May 1st, 2015 11:16am

BlackNWhite

Aloofness, not really there? "And car rides made me feel like I was losing it." I get it. But good writing.

Mon, May 18th, 2015 11:55pm

Author
Reply

Thank you. You just write how you feel and go from there. It doesn't always make sense...

Mon, May 18th, 2015 6:40pm

Jason Crager

Again, courageous writing!

Mon, May 25th, 2015 3:20am

Author
Reply

Thanks so much!

Mon, May 25th, 2015 2:31pm

Natasha Monique

At times, I feel the same way! Strong and powerful piece...I am noticing a pattern with you; and I like it. Your self expression is brave and something to be admired.

Tue, June 30th, 2015 5:42pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much! It means a lot!

Thu, July 2nd, 2015 8:34pm

Evie Wake

Please don't kill your self, your writing is strong and powerful- I envy it.

Fri, July 24th, 2015 8:53pm

Author
Reply

I'm trying to get to where I'm not in that area. I've been clean for about a month maybe... And I'm surprised you envy my writing, I honestly don't think that I'm that good at what I do.

Sat, July 25th, 2015 9:27am

Jeff Bezaire

It is difficult to fight depression. It never goes away, it always lingers. Writing is a good outlet, talking to friends and certain family members can help, too. My sister and I recently told each other we suffer from depression (facebook makes for an easy icebreaker, rather than a face-to-face). Never stop fighting! Never let depression win! It wins too often. Show it how tough you are! This is a fantastic piece, very personal. There are many of us on Booksie who can relate to how you're feeling. Stay strong. Depression will only win if you let it. It's a difficult battle, and it wears on you, but every day you're still alive means another day for you to get stronger. I've resisted multiple urges to commit suicide in my teens and early twenties, now I'm coming up on thirty in a few years and I'm still here. It gets easier with time. I know.

Sat, July 25th, 2015 8:59pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for making time to read this and to comment. It means a lot to me!

Sat, July 25th, 2015 2:32pm

Tylers conscience

A lot of people would say depression is bad but tbh, I think I'm more sane then them for actually feeling. Sure, I could stuff my emotions deep inside but those people are more sad then my saddness. Haha. Life is not deserved or earned. Life just is and then we are gone. (Opinion) Who the hell should be happy about that. But I belive there is a time to be sad, then times to forget and just live. Make good memories and just let go. I really hope at the end of the day, through your tears and heartache, you smile for no Damn reason. Because you may not deserve life (opinion), but you always deserve to smile.

Fri, January 15th, 2016 2:06am

Author
Reply

That's true. I felt the same way until I had my Baby Girl. She's the reason I live. I think life is more then "just is" now, but yea I felt that we too.

Thu, January 14th, 2016 6:19pm

saphiara

Terrifying ...

Sat, August 20th, 2016 2:33am

Author
Reply

Agreed...

Sat, August 20th, 2016 9:33pm

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