I Miss You

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is about my "brother." It's PG because of some things said and done.

Submitted: May 06, 2015

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Submitted: May 06, 2015

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Hunter moved in with us when I was in sixth grade. He was 18, a senior. I was nervous, afraid, but also excited! He had just stopped doing drugs. My mom kind of forced him into it though... He became my best friend, and he was like my big brother. People called us that too. They's ask me, "How's your brother?" and they'd ask him, "How's lil' sis doin?" That's just how it was. But, I was going through Hell with my parents. They weren't happy with my grades. I had A's and B's, but I'd always had all A's. It was insane now that I think about it, I mean, I can't be perfect! He was always there after they yelled though. Once,my mom made me cry in the middle of school, and there he was. "Hey, come on, it'll be okie." he said, "Listen, never let them see you cry or they'll know you're weak." After that I never cried. Not once. He tried to keep me out of the house as much as possible. He made up excuses like, "Let's go grocery shopping." or "Want me to drive you to town?" My parents noticed of course, but I'd always been a good kid, they didn't care.

One night he came in my room without knocking. I had my pocket knife against my wrist, just sitting there.

"Suzonne?" he asked, walking closer.

I looked up at him as he reached for the knife. I handed it to him. He sat by me, looking at me with sad, sad eyes.

"Promise me you'll never cut." he whispered.

"I promise." I answered as he got up and left.

After that, he would stay in my room and talk to me. On nights when my parents fought and yelled he'd lay in my bed with me and tell me stuff he'd done. He told me about his dad, who was in jail, and his mom, who died right in front of him. He talked about the drugs he'd done and how he cut.

"I don't want that life for you." he'd always say.

I only ever nodded, what else could I say? The, one day, I got a phone call. I looked at my cell and saw it was him.

"Hey." I said with a smile.

"I guess you've heard?" he asked.

"Heard what?"

"They kicked me out."

"What?! No!"

"I can't do anything about it sis."

"But, Hunter, you can't leave me!"

"I'll call you every night."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I was out when he came to get his stuff, but he kept his promise. He called me every night, or when he was working he's snapchat or text me. I never went a day without talking to him. One day though, I didn't get a call. I called him, no answer. I called again, and again, and again, but still no answer. I figured he was just really busy, but when I looked on snapchat, his story was full. They were recent too. He was at home doing nothing. Nothing! I just sat there, dumbfounded. What was going on? That night, I got into a fight with my ex. He called me a whore because I wouldn't send him any pics. I finally ended up doing it though. I sent them... I sent a lot of them... Then, others wanted them. So many others. I felt like a toy, but I also felt loved. After a while, I started to cut. I felt terrible. I snapchatted Hunter a pic of it, telling him I was sorry.

"Go kill yourself." he said.

That's the last thing he ever told me. I started crying. For the first time in a year, I was crying.

Now, to fill you in, I'm in eighth grade, almost ninth. He and I ended up sending pics, sadly. He just got out of jail for dealing drugs and fighting the cops. He's talked to me twice. Once, he came up to me at a football game and said, "Hey, smile. Cheer up." the second time was on facebook. I told him what I thought and what I'd gone through. But, in the end, I'm the one who apologized. Why? To him, I'm the guilty one. But, guess what? I still call him my big brother. I still love him. But, he's part of the reason I am how I am. 

 


© Copyright 2020 SuzonneH. All rights reserved.

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