old oak tree.

Reads: 285  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 2

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

just something i made up on the spot during class..

-hope you like it.

old oak tree out in the sun

you always weep and frown

old oak tree out in the breeze

why do you hate the sun?

old oak tree swaying in the wind

why do you cry invisible tears?

old oak tree why does life pass by?


Submitted: March 29, 2012

© Copyright 2022 sweet agony xo. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Shadowsoul

I like it, it was all cool and mysterious. Well, that's how I interperated it anyways. Tell me if I thought wrong.

Fri, March 30th, 2012 12:41am

Author
Reply

awwww thankyou. no i was aiming it to be a bit mysterious.

Thu, March 29th, 2012 6:24pm

Pestilence

Interesting topic, I quite enjoy poems about a single simple thing. In this case the old oak tree.
I like the use of repetition here.
The only suggestion I have is to use a stronger vocabulary, it can take a childish piece and turn it into something more inquisitive.
The last line, I think is the only thing keeping this poem afloat at the moment. Such a strong question I'm sure we've all asked ourselves.

Fri, March 30th, 2012 1:02am

Author
Reply

ok thanks.

Thu, March 29th, 2012 6:25pm

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