Fun House Mirror

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
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~SweetSong

Submitted: January 11, 2012

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Submitted: January 11, 2012

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I got out of the shower. I had been thinking about what Missy had said since the moment she said it.

"Calysta," she pulled me aside from the other girls.

"I hate to tell you this, but you have been gaining a lot of weight lately. It needs to stop." her eyes were relentless and unforgiving.

"I'm only a few more pounds than I was last check in.." I said.

"And I was already about to mention your weight last time. That was pushing it."

My heart was breaking. My breathing sped up and my eyes started welling up with tears.

"We'll start a diet plan for you; give you extra time in the studio to try to work it off."

I thought about the work I was about to pull myself into.

"If you don't think it's worth all the work and dedication then you aren't meant to be a dancer." She spat harshly.

Fighting back tears, I said, "I have what it takes. And I am a dancer."

I looked at my body in the mirror. I had promised myself I would never look in the mirror and see the reflection of a funny fat clown. But my heart was broken and the tears kept falling. I pulled myself off the floor. And looked again at my body in the fun house mirror. The distorted image created by my mind was still there.

Angry at myself, and hurt by my instuctor's words I punched the nearby wall. I couldn't bear to look at myself anymore. I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and began to scribble a list of what I wouldn't allow myself to eat. The list included essentials, like bread and most meats. But although I knew it was crazy, I didn't stop myself.

I felt insane. I felt like I was losing my mind and I wished I was losing my stomach. I wished I was losing my thighs. But as my sanity kept leaving my body, my pounds remained. I kept crying in my towel and sitting infront of the fun house mirror.

 


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