Father ( Monolouge )

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a monolouge I found myself writing one after about what I would tell my father, that is if he'd ever listen.

Submitted: November 30, 2011

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Submitted: November 30, 2011

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Father , if that’s even what you are these days. Honestly I feel like I don’t even know who you are. Because of the way you talked to us , the way you acted; caused us all pain. I don’t know how someone could ever tell their children that their mother was , well you know. … You want me to act like everything’s okay, how ? / How can you do this, expect me to drop how I really feel , so you can hang around and disappoint me even more; I don’t think so! / Yet, you are MY father, maybe I should. Maybe I should forgive you; yeah . .. Maybe; wait no, I told you to leave me alone and that’s that . You did nothing for us but cause us pain . I would be out of my mind to allow you back into my life. How could you do something so horrific to such a young girl ? You never thought before you acted , never thought before you spoke. Why would I even begin to think that that has changed? You never thought of anyone else but yourself , and that for a fact , will never change. Look where those lies have gotten you ; a divorce and a daughter who wishes she never knew you ! I feel kind of sorry for you , though , you don’t know how to be honest. Yet , you did this , everything, to yourself . / I feel no sympathy towards you . I hope that every morning you wake up to only realize everyday that you , not me , not mom , and certainly not Stoshie, ruined everything . I don’t know how some people can look at you and think , “Man he’s such a great guy , great with kids .” Sometimes I feel like telling them how you really are , how you really treat your “kids” , if that’s what we are to you anymore . / One more year , just one more . My brother, he turned 18 , he’s a man now . A true man. Now its only me . 17 . / And to think that I used to be that little girl who would wake up at 4am every morning , just to say goodbye to daddy. Typical daddy’s girl. I’m glad I got to realize the true you and what was really happening “ behind the scenes.” / When I look back at old pictures from vacations , birthday parties , or just pictures of us “family” , I get so disgusted . Things you wouldn’t know that I do because of you , because of who you truly are . I can’t remember one good memory with you , yet pictures show them . / I don’t know what you said to them, but whatever you said it worked. You’re family hates me . Why ? Because their son is a liar ? A cheater ? A thief ? So why do they take it out on me? What have I ever done ? Life can be funny I guess . It’s to be said that people block out what they don’t want to remember or they block out what had hurt them . And I find myself wishing I can forget everything bad , yet everything bad has everything to do with you . Just remember that you did this and I’m not that little girl who’s going to come crawling back to “daddy”, I know what you did and I know who you truly are , whether you can accept who you are or not I can . And frankly , I don’t want to know you . So just let me walk away and never turn back . . .

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© Copyright 2017 Sydney Leigh. All rights reserved.

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